Hey! I'm Emily... homebody, amateur philosopher, professional photographer, mama and wife. This is my little world-- a place for me to preserve the little snippets of my life that bring me joy, make me think, or show my creative leanings. I'm so happy you're here. If you get a minute, please introduce yourself in the comments. If you like what you see, you are invited to follow my blog through your RSS Reader. Just click the link at the bottom of the page to add me.
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Me:

Me:

Sunday, October 12

Life= Crazy

{one of last week's snapshots of "everyday life"... My buddy and me, just hanging out.}

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I wonder if I'll ever be able to just BE in the moment. I know it is an ideal... and yet we are always looking ahead to when things will be "better", "less stressful", "more money".... Etc. etc... and yet, doesn't every GOOD change come with the inevitable not-so-good things? Doesn't every NEW version of our lives have it's own blessings and curses? Why should we be so quick to wish something different upon ourselves?

Take my new life as a stay-at-home mom.There are SO many good things here:

1. I run the show
2. I get to see all of Noah's "firsts"
3. I get to sneak in a nap here and there
4. I get to take walks as part of my "work day".
5. I don't have to eat cafeteria food or fast food for lunch.
6. I get to sing to an unbiased audience.
7. I have flexibility within the structure.

And yet, the trade-offs are DEFINITELY there as well-

1. If baby sleeps badly, Mama sleeps badly.
2. Noah needs CONSTANT care-- this isn't a part-time job. I need to be focused on his needs and his development and his happiness from the time he wakes up at 7:00 am to the time he goes down for bed at 6:30 p.m.
3. No more freedom to just hop in the car and go wherever, whenever... Gotta make sure it works with Noah's napping/eating schedule
4. Not much live adult interaction
5. Less money for our household
6. New boundaries within my marriage partnership

...And so it can sometimes be easy to think about the downsides too much, and not remember to revel in all the good parts of it.

I bring this up because there seems to be a subtle shift going on in my "regular schedule" I have been settling into for the past three months, and this shift is making me yearn to KEEP what I have had all along... I am not wanting this shift to occur. I forgot to appreciate this mundane, routine, simple, peaceful stay-at-home-mom life, and now it seems to be moving away from that.

As the next few weeks plow onto my calendar, I am seeing a trend towards BUSY, CRAZY, and FRENZIED... Obligations mixed with fun plans mixed with holidays and birthdays and visits and drives and trips... and photo shoots and projects and.... and... and.....!!!

And suddenly, the minor stresses of a baby not napping or a load of laundry not fully dry seem like a piece of heaven. I want my life to stay what it has been!! I am NOT looking forward to the ways my life will be pulled and stretched. I am NOT feeling prepared to balance any more than I am currently balancing. I am just now figuring this current load out! I am just now getting the hang of it!

*sigh*

But no amount of whining or pleading will halt the onslaught of change and expectation coming my way.

So I gotta bless this moment, thank the Lord for THIS day, and brace myself for tomorrow.

and just when I start to get the hang of TOMORROW.... it'll change again.

Such is life.

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Tomorrow.... I have some DELIGHTFUL family photos to share with you that my friend Jodie took of Noah, Joe and I. I am in LOVE with them and have already ordered one enlargement, with more to come. Until then, I need to go to bed. So patience, my dears... all in due time.

5 comments:

  1. i know what you mean. (ps. on any of those trips you're taking, are you coming in my direction??? and happen to be bringing your camera??)

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  2. aye, there's the rub. You say it so well - the up and downs, yin and yang, being happy with today - all challenges of living in the moment. But so often it is distance that is needed to give perspective. How to enjoy and appreciate all that is happening as it happens? Let me know when you figure it out!

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  3. Some days are just "blah." We all have them. I've been having them on and on for a few weeks. Blah, blah, blah.

    I can not wait to see the family pics.

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  4. Stephanie10:43 PM

    Thanks for the post. I'm also a SAHM with my little dude's 1st b-day coming up on the 5th and then about 3 other parties/events that we are hosting at our house until the end of Dec. I get stressed especially when I want to do everything right and appreciate, enjoy, and live the moments. We have taken on new endovers which are different from work and a million times more fulfilling. We can do it...we have no choice.

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  5. UGH. I'm not a full time SAHM like you, but I agree there are SO many trade offs in parenthood that can be so frustrating. I hear we're going to miss these years. . . think that's true?

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