Lucy Lou, on a happier day, enjoying her crib and her Bunny Bunny:
Cute, right? Don't let that face fool ya- this girl can make her mama cry faster than anything. Like today.
Today, it's just me and the Lulu. Noah is in Utah with his grandparents, and Joe is at work. It's just me and the babe, and life couldn't be more simple, right?
Wellll.....
I am struggling here. Seems like she's chosen these three days without Noah to be the days she tests out new ideas and breaks her old routines. This baby, who was finally getting a bit easier, was actually settling into some predictable patterns. I know, I know--- don't ever count on a baby's PATTERNS. They'll just go and change them on ya as soon as you're comfortable. So. of course Lucy is now messing with all those things I was REALLY hoping to be able to rely on... Not just during these three days when it was just she and I, but also on this upcoming flight to Utah... the 4-day trip where I'll be the sole parent of this kiddo with no Joe nearby to take over when I've had enough.
Seriously, Lucy?
You're gonna go and mess it all up like this, scaring the pants off of me for this trip tomorrow?
I am honestly fighting tears as I think about how I am possibly going to make it. Where she had finally been getting cheerful during her awake times, she is back to being fussy. Where she would settle happily in my arms with a binkie, she now fights me. Where she was taking an afternoon nap in her crib LIKE CLOCKWORK, this is now the second day in a row it has fallen apart and failed completely. This kiddo lives for sleep, yet is sabotaging her nap opportunities right and left.
I feel a huge knot in my tummy as I anticipate this flight tomorrow. Will she SCREAM the whole time? I'd begun to be confident she'd be AWESOME, but after these past three days, I no longer trust her. And on the day of my sister's wedding, when I have to be the dang photographer, will she ever GET a nap? Her mama can get her to sleep in a sling or her arms like clockwork... but Lucy is getting finicky about who else tries it on her. I can see her squirming and screaming as one of my sisters tries to hold her for a nap. And I'm not bringing her stroller, a pretty consistent nap spot for her, because I just don't know how I'd maneuver the airport with one more big thing like that. So her naps on Wedding Day will all have to be Held Naps. and I'm beginning to think that's likely to fail. Awesome.
I hate this.
I'm not feeling great about being her mama just now.
I want to leave her here and just go alone.
Isn't that awful of me???
Off to go cry a bit more... Quietly, though, so as to not wake the girl who is now asleep in my sling since she woke too early from her crib nap.
Sucks.
girl...I feel for you. Maybe you should rethink the stroller idea. I know it's huge; it's bulky. But it can be a carry-on. They'll put a little tag on it, and check it curb-side for you w/o any problems. I'd pay to check an extra bag if it meant getting the take the stroller....it just might mean some rest for your poor achy body if nobody else can handle her. Just a thought, since I just came from tons of airports where there was not ONE baby w/o their stroller for support.
ReplyDeleteI agree w/ Tamara find a way to take the stroller. It has to be easier to push her in the stroller AND pull your carry-on or whatever. The flight attendants will take it at the gate and put it in the front storage of the plane. I know it isn't ideal but take it slow and ask for help at the airport. Believe it or not, people are nice to lonely women w/ infants. Play it up and take their pity. ;) Praying for safe and SMOOTH travels for you and Lucy. ;) Chin up. You've got this. As a mama of 3 that takes mine out solo....its do-able, I promise. Believe in your abilities and trust your instincts. :)
ReplyDeleteSTROLLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Take it. You totally gate check that sucker. Hang in there. YOu are amazing!
ReplyDeleteNow I feel AWFUL for letting you take pictures. I say "let" because although I would've loved for you to take pictures at my wedding, I had PLENTY of back-ups that could've done it. I'm excited to see you and the baby and I hope that my wedding isn't some horrible experience for you!
ReplyDeleteEmily - Stroller and car seats are usually FREE to check. Don't worry about tomorrow right now. What happens, happens. As much as it might suck, you don't have any control over it whatsoever. Just smile (while fighting back sobbing yourself), and the other passengers will understand as you stand and bounce in the isles. She might be so taken in by the new surrounding that she will do great. Maybe... :) Take off and landing can be hard on babies'/kids' ears because they have a hard time equalizing them, so feedings or sucking something at those times may help if she is awake. I don't envy you in the slightest...Good luck!
ReplyDeleteYou are NOT awful. This stuff is hard, and some babies are easier to care for than others--it's just the reality. Here's hoping she gets her hijinks out now and will be the best teenager that ever was:) I hope that trip will go well, and if she cries, I'm sure the other passengers have experienced this before with their own babies. You'll do just fine:)
ReplyDeletesounds like Miss Lucy may be in need of a new dose of reflux medication! We would experience this exact thing when Kole would outgrow his dose. All we had to do is up his dose and he was a new baby again. It seemed to happen just about every 3 weeks or so. Babies grow so fast, ya know! HUGS!
ReplyDeleteYes! What Jacki said...
ReplyDeletehello, I don't know you. but you have been keeping this first time mama sane. having a baby that also cries... a lot... it helps to know there's someone else out there going through the same thing.
ReplyDeletehope you enjoyed your trip!
That picture is INSANE!! Love it! Babies are so hard. I'm glad it seemed to go well this weekend!
ReplyDeleteshe is BEAUTIFUL... have I still not met her.... come to me!
ReplyDeletep.s. since you are so creative... let me know if you want to make something homemade for our charity auction in September.... you may even have something already laying around your house.
ReplyDelete