Lucy Tonight.

Lucy, turns out, is scared of an oscillating fan. This is a new development.

Last year when it was warm outside, she didn't even NOTICE the fan in her room. But this year, ohmygosh what drama when I decided it was warmish in her room and time to get the fan running again. Tears. Quivering. 

(Lucy is a champion quiverer. It's so pathetically sad.)

I managed to get it turned on at naptime today without her protesting... so I thought I was in the clear for bedtime. She was warmish herself from a pre-bedtime round of rambunctiousness with Noah, and I really hated to think of her blonde curls getting drenched and sweaty throughout the night.. So I upped the ante and turned the already "on" fan to the oscillating setting. 

Oh man. 

QuiverQuiverQuiver. CryCryCry. WIDE big scared blue eyes. 

I tried to distract her by singing her songs. It almost worked until I actually tried to lay her down. She immediately let her gaze beeline to the fan in the half dark. Oscillating. FREAKOUT. 

I handed her BunnyBunny. I handed her "Daddy" (the stripey sock monster Joe made). I handed her BunnyBunny's blanket. Still tears.

 

I had recently vowed to keep only those two critters in her crib (she's been chattering throughout her WHOLE naptime this week and I thought if I made her nap area sparse, she'd get bored and nap. It's kind of been working.).

I broke that vow and handed her LlamaLlama. Then Grover. Then Elmo. She clutched each new critter to her chest and said them by name. It seemed enough.

But then she looked back at the fan. And cried. And quivered. 

I turned the oscillator off. She whimpered. I picked her up. She cried, "Bunny? Ban-ket? Datty? Off-er? Elmoes? Lllllllllammmma?" I somehow managed to keep every one of her friends in my arms along with her little warm body. I hugged her. I sang her some more songs. I acted goofy and made her laugh. I laid her back down. 

She whimpered. Her little arms were all the way around every critter. A comfort-hug of stuffies atop her. She looked fearfully in the semidark corner at the fan. She clutched even tighter and named them all by name again- 

"BunnyBunny?" 

She's right here, Love. (I tugged Bunny to the top so she could see.)

"Ban-ket? Datty?"

Here they are! (I patted each one to show her they were still there.)

"Elmoes? Off-fer?" 

Right here, Lulu.

"Lllllammmma? BunnyBunny?"

Still here, Lucy. See? 

I watched her take inventory while not once letting go of them to actually sift through them. She needed them each indivdually, and needed them as a unified mass. She needed them. Her wide worried blue eyes, shifting from the dark fan corner and back to me told me everything. 

I gave up. Unplugged the darn thing and took it to the hall. I came back and told her it was all done. All gone. Bye-bye. She lay still under her covering of critters with her worried eyes. She eyed the now-empty corner once more. And then she let me sing her one more "Twinkle Twinkle" and she relaxed enough to let me tiptoe out. 

But she did not once let go of the stuffed-animal-armor layer. 

It's my bet that they're still atop her as she sleeps.

I'm gonna have to figure out something else to replace that fan. 

*

(a few iPhone pix of Lucy in her usually-favorite spot, in happier times:)