Tuesday, January 3
The following post is excessive. It's self-absorbed. It's borderline obnoxious.
But it's also what's been plaguing me for weeks now, and it's been cathartic to compile, so there you have it. Plus, I cannot think of a better receptacle/resource for venting about this topic than the random Internet, where I can send my friends to check out the post to help me out, but also get, possibly, random advice from strangers, who are a LOT more likely to be truthful. Ha.
Thus, I begin---- My EPIC HAIR TALE.
So. I'm in Hair Crisis. I'm a shabby, sloppy mom-of-two with naturally curly hair that wilts all too quickly, in an un-dyed-but-ever-so-slowly-getting-grey-patches blah color. Since the birth of Lucy, I've been in this limbo of "growing out-ness" that has been more accidental and passive than intentional, and after feeling spunky and sassy for two years with a short haircut and flowers in my hair, I have ended up here--- in a BLAH realm of non-style... But feeling like maybe I'm too far into it to just give up and go back to the short cut.
The problem is multi-faceted.
1. I am a mom of two who doesn't have the time or drive to "do" my hair.
2. Back in the spunky short days, I could wash and go and it would mostly be AWESOME and cute anyway. With longer hair, "wash and go" is NOT working anymore.
3. My hair is curly. When I first get done getting ready, I enter into a "lovely curl" state of being that lasts..... 2 hours. Max. Then it fades, wilts, becomes messy-looking, and into a ponytail it goes. But already curly, it is now IMPOSSIBLE to straighten or add some light "wave" to it without starting from scratch again. See #1.
4. I tend to NOT love hair on my face. Even when I wear my hair down, I'm tucking it behind my ears. Inevitably, a ponytail FEELS best by the end of the day. No hair in my face, driving me crazy.
5. I am not at my skinniest. So adding my overall feeling of "frumpy" to the "bad hair days" is KILLING my spirit. No spunk around here lately, ya'll. I NEED A CHANGE!!
6. But I am afraid to go back to the style that seems to suit me best--- the short curly style with a flower or doo-dad in my hair. I fear that I'll end up being the Lady Whose Hair NEVER Changed Over Four Decades. That seems embarrassing. Maybe more embarrassing than this frumpy UN-Style?
So there it is.
And I am stuck.
A. Keep this length, keep it growing, and LEARN TO DO SOMETHING WITH IT? Add some color? Keep it out of ponytails? Force more time in my day to "do" it? But run the risk of settling back into The Ponytailed Frump Girl eventually?
B. Just CUT IT ALREADY, go back to the style that worked best for me, felt most like "me", and let the future take care of itself? But know that even in this "cute short style", I had bad hair days and wished for ponytails?
So here's the excessive part. I decided to go back and take an HONEST look at my hair journey since getting engaged to Joe--- all the way back in 2004. Almost EIGHT YEARS!! My hair has been long, been short, been colored, been streaked, been cute, been AWFUL, been curly, been straightened.... ALL of it. And in each incarnation, there have been FABULOUS hair days..... and AWFUL hair days. Usually, I'm the self-editor who keeps the icky pics away from the public eye-- I am my best PR agent, you know? But to really get to the heart of this, I had to look at it all-- the good, the bad, and the downright UGLY.
And then I compiled it all here.
Is ANYONE gonna even want to see eight years of me me me? Me? Me?
Gross. Self-absorbed. (So I like having my photo taken. Is that a crime?)
But kind of an interesting train wreck to not tear your eyes away from.
(See Me Gain Weight Before Your Very Eyes! See Bad Hair Days By the Dozen! See Emily Vamp For the Camera Like She Always Does! Vanity at Its Peak!
Come One, Come All!!)
And honestly, if anyone has some advice on what I need to do next, I am READY TO LISTEN. Because I fear this Season of Frump may kill me, especially since February is coming, and wintery, dreary February is ALREADY a rough month for my spirits.
So now, the Epic Hair Tale, in Photographs.
(*you are welcome to stop now and move on to your next blog reading. This is obnoxious.
** if you are a part of my life, you MIGHT show up in a photograph or two. Apologies!! And extra apologies if you DON'T show up. It's likely that you don't even really LIKE getting your photo taken, so you avoided my camera lots. I still love you.
*** Joe, you're in here lots. I don't know how you put up with me.)
1. Engagement Season: Behold, the glorious (left) curls of Spring/Summer 2004. Aaaand the less-cute version of the same hair (right) when faced with a wilderness trek through Yellowstone:
3. Skipping ahead to 2006. I dabbled in glasses. But after the first couple of months, I forgot about them. My prescription was mild enough to get away with this. I still have those glasses. Hm. Far left= Cute. Second to left= AWFUL. Two on the right: ponytail city.
4. Europe Hair--I didn't take my blow dryer, curlers, straightener.... it was ALL NATURAL on this trip. And mostly in a ponytail or french twist.
5. Fall 2006--- it's either all hot-rollered and cute, or in a ponytail. Story of my long-haired life.
6. So it got long. And then I colored it red. And then...... I cut it. It was yucky and in a ponytail most of the time anyway, right? Sure, the long hair was pretty, WHEN I DID IT. But even without kids to take up all my time, the "doing my hair" ritual was more infrequent than it should have been.
7. Fall 2006- I liked it short. A lot. Felt free. Felt like "me". Even the shorter ponytail (or ponytails) it ended up in when it grew a few inches still felt spunky.
8. Winter/Spring 2007-- Growing back out... Good days. Bad days. Please note: ALL the good days were the result of actual effort. Reminder: These days, Actual Effort is impossible for me. Conclusion: Good Hair Days are probably never gonna happen if my hair stays long or even longish.
9. 2007, Late Spring: New cut, some fun color... And some not-great hair days, still. Also, what an awful "baby bump" photo (second from right, if you cannot discern)!! Every aspect of it. YUCK.
10. Summer 2007: ponytails, pink streaks for my 30th birthday, and some crazy hair on both Joe AND I. We BOTH needed to tame those manes!
11. More summer 2007: straight hair/curly hair, the pink streaks still there...Some cute days, but also some bad days.
12. 2007 Fall- The hair is getting long again.... But I didn't have that baby yet, so I had TIME to use my straightener... my hot rollers. Gosh, I KIND OF remember those days. !!
14. Then on to motherhood. Early 2008: Trying to live with the natural curls more... since hot showers and luxurious Me Time were things of the past.
15. summer 2008. I REMEMBER straightening my hair in the photo on the left. It was a family reunion and I wanted to be CUTE. I worked at it that day. And then, the photo on the right was like a week later, in Utah... and Noah had been the WORST sleeper during our trip. And I had given up on "cute". And the hair showed it. (those STREAKS. Yikes!) But being a mom has also ushered in the era of "Look at the cute babies! Pay no attention to the lady behind them!" Thank goodness.
16. Late Summer/Fall 2008: ponytails, lots of "natural curl" ( I DON'T like most of those), and an occasional good day. Also, a haircut happened in this time stretch.
17. Christmas 2008: Took time to straighten it (left), as opposed to the bedhead of Christmas morning. (Aww! Look at Sleepy Noah!)
18. Early 2009: pre haircut, post-haircut. This is the Big Cut--- the shortest I've been since I was 19 years old. I LOVED it.
19. Spring 2009: and even though I loved this cut, it still had it's "bad hair days"...But slap a flower in it, and it was insta-cute again! Thus, the Flower-Head Era began. Many of you guys started knowing me 'round this time.
22. Christmas 2009/Early 2010- Even with the "easy cut", sometimes a bandanna was even easier. I am the QUEEN of doing as little as possible. I think that is going to be the problem whatever I decide to do. My fault.
23. 2010, summer/fall: So, I'd had the short cut for 1.5 years. I loved it. But then it started growing. And I got to a point where it would fit into two ponytails. In fact, it looked BETTER in two ponytails than down. So I began wearing it this way all the time. And lo and behold, a new version of the "me cut" was born. I LOVED this look. Even if I was over 30 years old.
24. 2010 Christmas/2011 Winter-- On the left is NOT in ponies. Then on the right, back in ponytails. You KNOW the ponies were cuter.
25. Spring 2011: Lucy was coming due. I decided to keep the length in my hair so that I could avoid the insane "bedhead" that happened during my hospital stay with Noah. the ponytails were working for me. So I kept them.
26. 2011 Summer, Fall-- since then, the hair has been growing. And I have been trying different things to make it work. I even pulled out the ol' straightener for family photos (it hadn't been used in two years!!)
Here we are. I am in crisis.
(Anyone still reading? Haha!)
I am at a crossroads. I am ready for SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
Pink streaks again?
Short cut again?
Keep growing it out til it can go into two boho braids every day?
Keep the ponytail and accept my fate?
WHO AM I ANYMORE??
How much longer could I have gotten away with flowers in my hair anyway??
Remember, when preparing to offer your advice:
1. I NEVER have time to DO my hair. That means even a 10 minute this-or-that is TEN MINUTES TOO LONG. So even if evidence in the above gallery suggests that I can have some great hair if I TRY, I promise you, the "trying" will not happen much. Which sucks. But is a fact right now. I proved it again today. I let my hair dry curly-- and it was curling really pretty. I even put it up only halfway for most of the day. Pretty. But by the time post-lunch rolled around, it was limp. Getting in my way. Shedding hairs into Lucy's fists. And so, up into a ponytail it went. I TRIED. I REALLY TRIED today. But I seem doomed to being unglamorous for the rest of my days.
Wasn't that fun?
At least it was epic.
Posted by Emily S. at 12:29 AM