Awesome/Not Awesome:

Awesome: 

I seriously love coming here to read the comments you guys take time to give me. Lately, especially... they're like a letter in the mail, or an unexpected treat, something special that lifts me. Thank you. Even if you don't 'know" me, but take time to say something, it warms me like crazy. These days I need all the love and lifting support I can get. 

Not Awesome: 

I feel like the impending move to a new house has ramped up my PPD quite a bit. I still experience it in "episodes" or "flare-ups" rather than prolonged bouts, so I have come to trust that if I'm feeling like a total basket case, I just need to ride it out for the few hours it lasts and it WILL get back to normal after that. I'm relieved for that. 

When a "flare-up" occurs,  it mostly manifests in a sad, gloomy, "helpless to do much" kind of way. I sigh a lot. I glump around the house a lot. I wonder tearfully how I will ever manage to make lunch for all these kids....(Two. *snort*) Luckily I don't get angry or hurt-y or dangerous.... Just mope-y and stuck and despondent. But I can manage that for the three-hour lengths, once a week or so, that it lasts.

Awesome:

As I get closer to this actual move, I am starting to itch for the change.... for the "fresh start" and a perceived new "order" to my life that I intend to cultivate. I'm aching for it, actually, especially as I sit in this current house that will need to get packed up soon and wonder, "why bother?" when it comes to tidying up, so that the order here is less and less and less......... I am READY for NEW. Different. Also, I am so ready for the washer/dryer on the main level there. And the chest freezer in the basement (never had a chest freezer before.) And the big fenced yard. And to start decorating a nursery for Quinn, poor old baby. 

Not Awesome:

Our intrepid new-to-us minivan, Oscar Optimus the Odyssey, age 13, is severely disabled and at the shop. And his repairs will cost a lovely HALF of what we paid for him. Which wasn't much, but was for us.... so OUCH. But necessary. So yeah. Love car repairs. Ick. 

Awesome:

I am getting a torrential pile of email inquiries for client sessions lately. I don't know what I did right for Google to be working so hard for me, but it is an honor to be emailed. I am so glad people still find my work relevant and are interested in hiring me. 

Not Awesome:

I am ready to move, but SO. SAD. to be leaving my church ward.... We've been in this congregation for almost NINE YEARS. And though there are plenty of folks who come and go from the ward, it still feels like home to me, and I have dear friends I am not ready to part ways with. Sure, we promise we'll still hang out. After all, I'm only moving 20 minutes away.... But the reality is, with all these kids and stuff, it's just not that simple. I just hope we manage a few attempts before we fade away. :(

Awesome:

They are the most work I've ever had to do, but I freaking love my kids. Like "want to eat them up" love them. Lucy had a post-bedtime fussing moment just now, rare for her, and I was EXCITED. I got to go to her room and snuggle her in the dark... a rare treat. And passing by Noah's room just now, I saw he was still awake and reading, so I went in and made him snuggle, too. I live for that stuff. I am so in love with these babies of mine. 

 Not Awesome: 

I suppose it's time to start packing. 

Awesome:

My sister Beckie is in town from Hawaii. I've missed her guts. 

Awesome:

I got a lovely Sunday nap today. 

 Awesome:

My husband Joe makes this little messy loud life perfect. 

 Awesome:

I just finished a blog post. 

Happy June, folks.... it's going to be a wild ride over here.... But we're still swimming.