Sunday Night... Me, Currently.

Monday, November 15, 2010

12:00 am...

Gladiator playing on TiVo...

English muffin toasted, slathered with butter... one side with honey, one side with mom's peach jam.

I got a three hour nap today, which was so good for my achy body. 

Joe and Noah played quietly, letting me sleep on and on.

It's been a very good recovery, with regards to people stepping in to help and to let me do as much as I can, or as little as I can...My sister-in-law, my angel, Mary came to town from Colorado and took over the decision-making, the meals, the Noah-playing... She was a godsend at the PERFECT time.

Joe took off Thursday for the actual surgery, kept me company in the pre-op and post-op rooms... Gave me courage and love in the thick of my fear that day... And he has continued to go above and beyond this whole weekend-- preparing meals, playing with Noah, giving footrubs, comforting hugs... Letting me cry...

The list of incredible, strength-giving notes via email, text, and Facebook have been INCREDIBLE--- so many cherished people pulling for my recovery to be smooth... adding positive thoughts for healing and courage... I have been humbled by the outpouring of love. THANK YOU--- that means you, and you, and YOU. 

And though the actual procedure was horribly scary and painful (the local anesthesia only took away 60% of the pain, so I was enduring a LOT of sensation during the 30-minute surgery... OH WOW it was bad!)... And the first day or so was painful and hard... I THOUGHT I was doing pretty good as of yesterday. I even managed a calm day out with Mary and my BFF Genny, a lunch, some gentle shopping... cupcakes... 

But. There's some new pain, pain that I would THINK is unrelated to the breast issue and the post-surgery stuff, except it all started the day of the surgery and gets worse each day since. Coincidence?? 

It started as far from my breasts as you could get--- my heels and my knees. Both have felt completely BRUISED, for no apparent reason. Each day, the pain worsens. And each day, something gets added. First, the feet/knees. Then the ankles. Today, the wrists. Both sides, all of the above. Today, I can barely stand to walk, and when I do, it's on my tiptoes. My ankles feel like they've got arthritis. My wrists have a DEEP, tight soreness...

What is going on??

I want to get BETTER.... But it seems I get to endure some more mystery in my health for a while yet...

Tomorrow is the baby ultrasound. That is GOOD stuff. And I get to finally ask a doctor about this stuff... And hopefully someone can help me to not only understand what this pain is, but help me find true RELIEF. 

That is me, currently. Awake late because of a good, long nap... 

Walking on my tiptoes and trying not to show pain on my face when I move.

Wishing it was better, already.

I have a few not-gory photos from the evening after surgery... some self-portrait observations... 

I'll try to post them tomorrow.... Just to put some context to the whole tale.

For now, I'm going to watch a bit more Gladiator, til I get doze-y, then go to bed, trying not to think about:
a. painful feet/b. boy vs. girl/c. Tylenol3's effect on a fetus/d. other random worries and thoughts...

Good night... Thank you again for your love!


  1. I'm so glad surgery is over and your family and friends are so helpful and loving but absolutely horrified that you could still feel some of the surgery, is that normal? Shouldn't you be totaly numb still?

    I hope you get some answers about your new mystery pain (thats totaly unfair!) aswell as enjoy getting a look at your beautiful baby.

  2. Oh Emily! Hurting to read this- hoping this mystery pain vanishes soon. REALLY, REALLY SOON! So glad Mary is there. My love to all of you and well continue the prayers.

  3. Yikes! And I thought I had it bad with my allergic reaction this weekend. Hang in there, sis, and I wish I were in St.Louis so we both could take a sick day and watch stupid chick flicks together. Love you!

  4. Ug. So glad the surgery is over, but I hate that you are in so much pain in recovery. Praying for you. Hang in there friend.

  5. so happy to hear the surgery is over and behind you... sorry it was painful that really sucks that you had to be awake for it and then you even had to feel pain sucks!!! and now this mystery pain??? hope it's nothing...just a quick fix. sending hugs!! have fun at the ultrasound tomorrow!! continue to take it easy!

  6. Hoping you feel better soon, glad the surgery is over!


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