You know that feeling where you doubt yourself? Second-guess things? Especially in the creative department? Well.... For all the "professional" photos I post, I frequently have to step back and really LOOK at what I am posting. And then go look at the REAL talented photographers. And then go back and reevaluate what I think is "good".
So sure, I can probably snap a shot better than the average person. But that does NOT make me professional. And I am well aware of that, and tell clients that I am an "amateur professional". But darn it... what can I do more? How can MY pictures (see below) get to the level of THESE GIRLS? (click on ANY of them to be amazed):

Katie Jinky Tara Carrie Allison Amy

And then me. Good stuff. Cute clients. But the terrible existential quandry of -- HOW DO I FINISH THEM? What can I do at the outset to make them better?

{Here is Kirsti. My amazing 16-year-old sis. First version is basic. Second is deeper, warmer color. Third is punchy, vibrant color. Cover two with your hand and only look at one at a time. Which one?}

{here are two darling girls I snapped yesterday. Ever-so-slight differences here, but I used two totally different processes. Which one?}


{again with the basic/mild punch/strong n' vibrant. Which works and why?}

{Last ones.... Also VERY subtle, but both were processed completely different. Which one, if either, stands out?}

And the big question: what is or should be my style? I am, by nature, bright, colorful, a bit over-the-top as a person. I like whimsy, humor, youth, and clean lines. So is my contrasty, bright thing here okay?

Because I REALLY admire and am jealous of the subtle, warm, elegant, mature photographs that I see in the likes of my bessie Katie. The more subdued tones and clean light of Amy and Allison (see above). And because of this envy, I want to learn more about how to shoot like them.

But maybe I'm "doomed" to be who I already am, and I should just go with it. And maybe I am being lazy. Or over-analytical. Been know to be that for sure.

Anyhoo. Truly, this post is mostly for me. Sorry to put y'all through it. I just REALLY have this on my mind right now. I wonder, who am I kidding? And so I am rollin' though this slump... Thinking it through.

Feel free to contribute opinions, and don't just say, "cute photos! Stop worrying!" 'Cause I'll worry anyway. It's just that kind of mood.

Baby Evie...

This little lady is about two weeks old... She is the second child of a girl in our ward, and I had fun playing with a newborn in preparation for my own. Isn't she alert, teeny, and beautiful??

(Any predictions on just how many photos I'll end up taking of my own little Noah? Might it even become a bit obsessive? :) Can't wait to see!!)

Countdown...

And Noah is probably pretty ready! So are we, in fact. We have most of the things we need: crib, pack n' play, stroller, car seat, diapers, wipes, shampoo, onesies, blankets, binkies, caps, bouncer seat, etc. etc.

Really, tallying everything up, we are only missing a breast pump, some storage, some extra crib sheets, socks, sleep gowns, and a hamper. Not bad!! I even got my amazing diaper bag in the mail today: I can't wait to pack it all up! (any suggestions on what I should put in it, besides diapers and wipes? And is it something I need to bring to the hospital, or not really?)

Anyway... the countdown is REALLY beginning. And it is too weird to wrap my mind around, so for now I will keep playing with this movable stomach of mine and try not to panic.

*smile*

This Girl Loves Me Enough to Throw Me A Party...

And I feel really special and adored that she would work so hard to make yummy food, clean the apartment, let strangers come over, AND still chip in for a big group gift for her future nephew.

I love my sis.

...And THIS Girl is One of My Happy Places.

And I get her for a WHOLE 4-day weekend. Fun will be had, I promise.

Mmmm... A Real Fall weekend!

Drove to Columbia, MO for the weekend... Spent some time up in Kirksville also, hanging with Melody who was in town for the Kirksville Red Barn Festival, selling her art. She is now in Michigan, so this was a fun chance for her to go back to her last hometown to visit with old friends. Joe and I were thrilled to get some good quality time with her on a grey, crisp autumn day.

{melody's art booth mate}

{joe and i}

After Kirksville, we were TUCKERED out, so we crashed at my parents house for a yummy two hour nap, then headed to my best friend Genny's new apartment to see how well she and Neil have blended their stuff. We were VERY impressed: with a lot of help from IKEA, they have managed to make their apartment look inviting, organized, coordinated, and FUN, all at once. After admiring their handiwork, we all went to my favorite sandwich shop, Grinders, for the AMAZING turkey reuben, my favorite sandwich of all time.

{genny and neil}


NOTE:
Blogger is having photo upload issues, so more photos are coming. Hopefully tomorrow. I'm tired now, so I'm going to bed.

Korean Feast (Complete With Apple Pie!)

{the chef, looking pleased with herself!}Ah, bi bim bop! The is a Korean dish comprised of rice with multiple veggies, an egg, and flavored with a specific hot sauce. Vicki has learned a LOT about Korean food since she and Papa Joe have lived there over a year now. While she was in town visiting, she made us an entire Korean feast, complete with an egg-drop soup, kimchi (a cabbage dish) and pickled radishes. It was fun to see how knowledgeable she is about this stuff, and to hear some of the language she has picked up.

Oh, and the apple pie? Not so Korean, of course, but beautifully made by Mary as the finishing touch to our feast.

For Dan P.--Just A Teaser!

On Saturday, on what was supposed to be a crisp, lovely October day, former student Danielle, her entourage (sister, best friend, mom), and myself headed off into the 92 degree heat to take her senior photos. In spite of the heat and humidity, we got some great shots... most of which still wait to be edited. For now, enjoy this one sample of this charming, wacky girl:
This one is my favorite so far... But there are tons more ahead!!

Mary and Vicki

My mother-in-law Vicki was in town for two weeks, ending last week, and it was SO NICE to have her here. I know for some of you, it's hard to fathom having a truly close relationship with a mother-in-law, but I have been deeply blessed in the family I married into. Vicki is so kind, generous, thoughtful, giving, and welcoming. She lets me be me, and doesn't judge the way I spend my life with her son.
In addition to Vicki, I also get Mary in the bargain-- my sister-in-law. She and I are the same age, have many of the same interests, and were actually friends before Joe and I ever dated. That set a pretty darn good foundation for Mary's and my lasting friendship.
For the two weeks we all spent together, Vicki lovingly made my crib bedding (photos to come), took Mary and I to the Butterfly House (photos to come), made delicious Korean food (photos to come), spent lots of time with Joe and I talking baby stuff, and even went with us on our hospital tour when we went to see our future maternity ward.
Withdrawals have been rough... After I took Vicki to the airport last Saturday, I felt a bit glum, even though we'll see her again right after Noah is born. She will, in fact, get almost a whole month in St. Louis starting in mid-December. And she'll have Papa Joe with her that time. We really missed him this time around!
Anyway. I just wanted to post a thanks to my girls-in-law, and begin telling a few of our adventures. I have many more pictures of our time together for these two weeks, so look for more soon!

Baby Shower Time!

Last Saturday, my good friends Jamie and Alecia threw me a baby shower and invited all the girls from the ward. Alecia held it at her lovely home and brunch was the order of the day. We had Belgian waffles with all kids of toppings options, egg and cheese casseroles, yummy juice punch, pastries, chocolate milk, and many other delights. It was fun to be the center of attention, but I must admit, I tend to feel a sheepish guilt at being singled out and lavished gifts on. I don't know why. For birthdays, I feel just fine, but these showers-- they are above and beyond. And I am grateful. Thanks, Jamie and Alecia, and all you others who attended!

{hostesses Alecia & Jamie}





{sitting among the gifts}

{Kimra enjoying her waffle}

{Gina and Jamie hamming it up}

{one of the shower games}

{Taina and son, Monica and I}

{Jessica}