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Rambling Regretful Post About Running Out of Time

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Here I sit at 11:23 on a Sunday night. I've been working on a client book and watching episodes of Breaking Bad. (Still in Season two, guys, so don't spoil anything for me.) My intention was to crank out this client book and then take some time to edit some Quinn 8-month photos really quickly. Have them ready to blog. I really want Sunday nights to be MY photo night, not my clients'. But here I am,  at 11:23, and it's late. I know if I start, I won't get anything satisfactorily done in any kind of timely manner, and I KNOW tomorrow will drag and I will be far more likely to be the crabby version of me I don't like.... So I sit here, and I feel a sense of loss. 

I didn't get to tackle my own images tonight. 

And tomorrow is a new work week... and I'm behind on client editing, so I won't take the time for my own photos tomorrow either. Or Tuesday. Etc. 

But if there is one thing I've learned in this last eight months since the huge jump to becoming Mom-of-Three, it is that Crabby Emily is NOT the Emily I want to live with. If I want to have a remote shot at being centered and attentive to what the coming day asks of me, and to be able to face it with a cheerful heart and a sense of peace, I cannot skimp on the sleep any more than I already am at 11:28pm.

Especially on a Sunday night. Monday is a big day in the grand repetitive round of life. It is the First Day, the one that can set the tone for how the whole week plays out. So if I can get myself to bed and gear up for a GOOD Monday, that will make all the difference for Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. 

So here I am. 11:30pm. 

I have so many dear and precious photos of my own life--my own kids-- I want to spend time on, and then to share. 

But I guess tonight is not that night. 

I'm more than a little bummed about that. 

But tomorrow: Fresh start. New day. Perhaps with a tiny bit more sleep tonight, I will find the motivation and energy to carve out a little corner of time tomorrow prior to tackling the client work, to at least start my own personal photo work. 

So to bed. to make it a good week. 

Ah well, my photos.... perhaps another time.


2 comments:

  1. Just remember that when your kids are older and you all look back at those pics you are trying to post today, they wont remember how frantic and sleep deprived you were. They will just love seeing the pics and realize that they are so lucky to have such a great Mom who is so talented...dont beat yourself up. You are doing so much more than many Moms out there...chin up.

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  2. I am just so in awe of your photography talent--your own photos AND your clients:) As I try to remind myself often as my E enters the throes of toddlerhood, it is just a phase and will pass!

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