My Sis...

This is Beezo. She's one of my four kid sisters, the one that is four years younger than me. She is the tallest. She is the most sarcastic. She is the best debater. She is an unbelievable cook. She is great to have on your Trivial Pursuit/Cranium/Celebrity team. She is an avid reader, movie watcher, TV show junkie. She has a degree in psychology. She is deeply loyal. She knows what to say when she listens to your problems. She is self-deprecating to the extreme. She is hilarious. And she is one of the most important people in my entire life.

And last week, she started an incredible, challenging, life-changing job overseas...in Iraq.

My kid sis. In Iraq.


Just last week, she was still living four blocks away from me, a stroller walk away. A trip to the cupcake shop away. A movie away. But this job offer came into her path, and she and her roommate Kathy applied for and got it. Something about reconstruction/engineering/blah blah blah. So in a whirlwind of applications, immunizations, physicals, and background checks, within a month of applying for this job, Beckie has been whisked away to a small military base in northern Iraq to spend a year trying to make a little difference. Kathy, too.

They'll live on a military base, but do a civilian job. Their room and board is paid for, so the money they'll make (and it is a sizable chunk) is basically money in the bank. During their year, they'll get two different 2-week R&R breaks, where the company will pay for a trip wherever they want to go. Oh, and though they applied together, and got the job together, the two close friends have been sent to two different locations. So even that small bit of familiarity has been pulled out from under them.

And honestly, VERY honestly, I am thrilled for Beckie. She has always wanted to do the Peace Corps or Amnesty International, or something like that. She had graduated from college two year ago and was beginning to stagnate in a serving job at Macaroni Grill. She needed a change. Needed something that would make her feel like she was really making a difference in this world. She needed to get out of her comfort zone. This fit the bill.
And the only thing that makes me a little uncomfortable with this new experience is that it is in the Middle East. Besides that little detail, I think this is the chance of a lifetime for her.
On the other end of the reaction spectrum, the more selfish end, is how I feel about what I'm losing. I am happy for her. I am hopeful this will be a deeply influential life experience for her. But one of my very best friends is now as far away from me as she can possibly be. In a scary place. Alone. I ache for her and for me and for Noah, her little nephew she has gotten so close to. It makes me so sad- to think of the many many moments we'll miss together while she is away. And though it IS only a year, a year is a long time in Beckie's nephew's life.

And Beckie has had such a good time with this little man. She has gotten so confident in his patterns and idiosyncrasies. Almost as good at "reading" Noah as Joe and I. She and he even have their "shtick"-- their little routines that make both of them laugh.

So this part of Beckie's leaving is especially hard. For her and for me. And though I'll send her plenty of pictures and video clips, as Joe's parents in Korea can attest, it simply isn't the same.

So here we are... Me in St. Louis, and Beckie all the way across the world in Iraq. IRAQ, people. And it really hasn't sunk in yet. Last week, she was hanging out at our house, her bessie Kyle in town to see her one last time before her departure, all of us laughing and pretending the inevitable wasn't coming...

But then the day actually arrived. Last Thursday. And it was all I could do all day not to cry in front of my classes as I thought about the lunch we'd all planned together before her flight. My heart just felt sore the whole day.
At lunch, I made sure she got as much Noah-time as possible. It was bittersweet seeing them interact like nothing was changing. And I could tell that the future was weighing heavily on Beckie's mind. I mean, how could it not?

But the thing is, she's going to survive. Physically, emotionally, mentally. And not just survive, but THRIVE. This will shape her in deep and significant ways. This will enrich her. She will grow. It will likely be painful and lonely... but she WILL grow.

And me? Well... I'll be okay. I'll miss her terribly. Deeply. I'll regret fleeting moments we could have been doing things together, laughing. But I'll be okay. And a year is short, in the grand scheme of things. And email is good. Care packages to Iraq even better. And she'll hurry back at the end of a year and reinstate her campaign to be Noah's coolest aunt... like she had never even left. And we'll all be okay.

God speed, little sis. You're in my prayers.