Lucy Lou, on a happier day, enjoying her crib and her Bunny Bunny:

Cute, right? Don't let that face fool ya- this girl can make her mama cry faster than anything. Like today. 

Today, it's just me and the Lulu. Noah is in Utah with his grandparents, and Joe is at work. It's just me and the babe, and life couldn't be more simple, right? 

Wellll.....

I am struggling here. Seems like she's chosen these three days without Noah to be the days she tests out new ideas and breaks her old routines. This baby, who was finally getting a bit easier, was actually settling into some predictable patterns. I know, I know--- don't ever count on a baby's PATTERNS. They'll just go and change them on ya as soon as you're comfortable. So. of course Lucy is now messing with all those things I was REALLY hoping to be able to rely on... Not just during these three days when it was just she and I, but also on this upcoming flight to Utah... the 4-day trip where I'll be the sole parent of this kiddo with no Joe nearby to take over when I've had enough. 

Seriously, Lucy? 

You're gonna go and mess it all up like this, scaring the pants off of me for this trip tomorrow?

I am honestly fighting tears as I think about how I am possibly going to make it. Where she had finally been getting cheerful during her awake times, she is back to being fussy. Where she would settle happily in my arms with a binkie, she now fights me. Where she was taking an afternoon nap in her crib LIKE CLOCKWORK, this is now the second day in a row it has fallen apart and failed completely. This kiddo lives for sleep, yet is sabotaging her nap opportunities right and left. 

I feel a huge knot in my tummy as I anticipate this flight tomorrow. Will she SCREAM the whole time? I'd begun to be confident she'd be AWESOME, but after these past three days, I no longer trust her. And on the day of my sister's wedding, when I have to be the dang photographer, will she ever GET a nap? Her mama can get her to sleep in a sling or her arms like clockwork... but Lucy is getting finicky about who else tries it on her. I can see her squirming and screaming as one of my sisters tries to hold her for a nap. And I'm not bringing her stroller, a pretty consistent nap spot for her, because I just don't know how I'd maneuver the airport with one more big thing like that. So her naps on Wedding Day will all have to be Held Naps. and I'm beginning to think that's likely to fail. Awesome. 

I hate this. 

I'm not feeling great about being her mama just now.

I want to leave her here and just go alone. 

Isn't that awful of me???

Off to go cry a bit more... Quietly, though, so as to not wake the girl who is now asleep in my sling since she woke too early from her crib nap. 

Sucks.

Finishing What I Started... #28, #29, #30.

August. Nearly 3 months behind the last day I did these...

Am I the only one who struggles to finish things I've started? Projects, grand ideas, crafties, etc... ?? It's a lifelong struggle of mine for sure!

But I vowed to myself to finish editing these last 3 days of Lucy and POST THEM THIS WEEK. So. Without further ado or apology, I give you:

Lucy, Day 28

This was the slackiest day of all the 30 days... I simply didn't have the steam to do anything this day, so out into the yard we went, and I grabbed a couple of Lucy just chillin' on her soft blanket. Easy. And kinda boring. But whatever... at least I didn't skip the day altogether. 

Lucy, Day 29:

To make up for the day before, I made a supreme effort this day--- bean bag setup and everything. In fact, I even whipped up the vintage yo-yo flower headband for Lucy just for this day and this backdrop. The flower is made from fabric and lace from my grandma's stash, so it's particularly sweet to me. 

I find that I am loving this next one the best... Hm.

And for funsies, since I've not done this yet for any of her 30 Day Project, here's a pullback of the sunroom "studio" where I shot 95% of her photos. Fun! 

You can see the beanbag, up on a table so I didn't have to crouch every day... The space heater... the reflectors not being used in the background... The pile of blankets on the beanbag...My collection of seamless paper rolls in the back...Good times!

And.....

Lucy, Day 30

A day for swaddles, to keep her asleep... A day of just getting those last shots. I also pulled out my Lensbaby for a couple of shots, just because... 

And after she woke, I just snapped a few more of her in her everyday swaddle, the one we use all the time in real life... Her face flushed from her nap and from the space heater... her eyes a bit dazed and sleepy...

And even a big yawn.... ! Makes me want to go take a nap of my own!

Hello, Lulu... Nice to see your big eyes on your last day of newborn photo sessions! 

*

And just to help us all remember that those 30 days may have frozen time for Lucy the Newborn, she is well and truly growing, and dazzling my camera with her sparkling grey blue eyes and ever-growing arsenal of expressions. So, to finish the post for today, a few of Lucy, approx. 3 months old. I love love love these:

...Aaaaand wait for it............

BAM. Her split-her-face-in-half-with-joy smile. Giant. Delightful. And she's pretty generous with it. :) It's those smiles that keep me going with her, I swear it. 

*

For now, this will have to do, post-wise. There are many many other things I need to finish... More things to blog about. But this has been a day stuck at the computer and I think I need a break. The end. Thanks for sticking with me through those endless 30Days of Lucy... Ha!