And so today my eldest child turns ten. It feels like a blink of an eye in some ways, and a beautiful eternity in others. 

What a neat kid this boy is: I am daily impressed with what a tender, patient and thoughtful big brother he is. He certainly has a knack for teasing, but it is never with a mean spirit... always mischief only. And when it's clear he's hurt someone's feelings, he stops. He apologizes. 

He is so helpful and kind to Joe and I. He's FUNNY as heck. He's brilliant, of course... and it's so fun to see where that mind takes him sometimes. 

My hope for my kiddo, as he turns the corner from "little kid" to "big kid", is that he remains tender and kind. That he finds a place in this world for his sharp, funny, inventive mind. That he redefines "nerd" or "smart kid" to be something everyone can relate to and wants to come join in with him. That he continues to be social and friendly to everyone, and that he doesn't feel the need to close the door on us, his family, to stew in adolescence too soon. That he knows we are his biggest cheering section. I hope he keeps giving his siblings a chance to join him. And I hope he deepens his awareness of empathy, charity, inclusion, and love-- that he continues to learn of his Savior and strives to be more and more like Him. 

He's well on his way. And I am the luckiest mama that God saw fit to place him in my care for these first couple of decades of his beautiful life.

What Does Natsukashii Mean?

A word so dear to me, first read about in Finding Adam by Martha Beck, where she explains it as follows: "'Natsukashii' is a Japanese word that described exactly what I was feeling: a wistful sense of longing, an appreciation for beauty laced with sadness at its transience..."

Also defined by a now-obsolete blog called Wanderings and Wonderings, a definition I really like as well:
"Natsukashii is one of those Japanese words that is quite difficult to render into English; poignant might be a close approximation. It signifies the tinge of sadness that comes with the reminder of/remembering familiar things. Maybe a place that was once significant and not longer is, but nevertheless, still holds emotional appeal." 

For me, "natsukashii" is that feeling of achy joy at anything I treasure that is fleeting, or anything dear to me that has already passed into the past. I believe I am an avid memory-keeper, via journaling, taking photos, blogging, etc., so I can attempt to hang onto these treasured moments and feelings, even just a little... though these photographs and words I create are often the source of all natsukashii for me. And that's okay. It's a beautiful feeling, even when it aches.