My amazing, handsome, witty, smart, kind, patient firstborn--- you are one of my happiest thoughts, every single day. I am honored to be your mama. I love you more than I can explain. Happy birthday, sweet little man. 

November: I Am Here.

I am: 

Here. I am here. I've not blogged, but I am here. I am overwhelmed and extremely busy this fall, but I am here. I am happy, mostly. But busy. And that pendulum of busy swings to the far opposite side so that when I can't "do" busy a second longer, I go to bed early and leave major things undone, or I sit on the couch and ignore the work, and that includes sitting to blog, even though it is so cathartic. I just don't make any time for EXTRA sitting at this computer right now because it feels like I need to be here all too much as it is, editing, emailing, scheduling, apologizing, working. So I am here. Just not exactly HERE here, ya know?

I feel: 

Tonight? I feel emptied. Kind of. Just.... so many weeks of busy, added to so many recent things happening in the world that are disheartening, added to so many things left undone, added to some hormonal, rainy-day blahs, and I feel.... sort of emptied, in a deflated, soul-tired way. 

I wish:

I wish something would give me a good, long, face-hurting, cathartic laugh. Preferably with people I love.

I also wish I didn't ever have typos. Ever. 

I need to:

Get things ready for Noah turning EIGHT in two days. EIGHT. Luckily, it's not a party year, but I still need to shop for his birthday menu choices, a card, some little doo-dad gifts to add to his few big ones... I need to find a way to get ahold of a friend of his to invite to his one-friend-outing this year. And I need to organize and finalize his baptism plans. Can you even believe this year, this event, is here??

I'm listening to:

Mumford & Sons Pandora, or a bunch of random old songs I've mostly-forgotten that my iPhone has dredged up when I made the huge mistake of updating it to the new iOS,  a mistake that has cost me my familiar playlists and favorite albums, and only shown me old weird stuff that I have to try to get used to until I figure out how to get back to some semblance of where I was before this major dumb iOS mistake. 

I'm watching:

I just finished all available episodes of Orphan Black earlier this month, and have now caught up on Reign (NOOOOO!!!!!), and I am keeping up with Quantico and Blindspot (Blindspot is better), and I need to find another show to edit to now. Though I have both the Anne of Green Gables and Anne of Avonlea DVDs here, and maybe that's a good/weird segue-way from Reign, since Megan Follows is in both? 

I'm hoping: 

To keep Christmas at bay just a couple more weeks. Then I will dive in full-force. Because I love it. But I love the deprivation of it, too. It makes it more acute and special. 

Also hoping to catch up with work (particularly the post office side of it and the ordering of prints and products) and stay caught up with the editing side of it. My busy season's end is in sight!! 

I want:

Someone to plan the upcoming Thanksgiving at our house and the upcoming baptism for me. 

No more leaves tracked into our house.

Time (and dry leaves) to finish the leaf-blowing in the front yard. I love the task, but there is never time, thanksalot Daylight Savings. 

Time to finish my schoolwork scanning project so I can clear out this office corner of my front room.

Time to do a cute planned photo session of Noah for his 8th birthday. 

To spend a full day under my covers, just reading. 

A Popsicle. 

A good cry. 

A clean room and more storage so my room doesn't become the storage area all the time. 

One-on-one time with each of my kids more regularly. 

A movie theater date with Joe. 

Time to work on my personal photos. 

Less STUFF. 

To find my missing fake Ugg boot. 

To sneeze. 

To procrastinate a little longer. 

Not to let people down. 

Another faux wood phone cover since I peeled mine to heck last night when I was feeling anxious. 

To be able to sell $600 in Jamberry this month without doing any extra work. 

To have a Favorite Things party with my out of town girls, IN PERSON. 

To be tucked in and sung to. 

To go for a solitary walk on a brisk fall day, with headphones in. 

To sing something loud and emotional. 

To putter around with my Project Life instead of work tonight. 

A foot rub. 

A hug. 

How about you? What are you up to these days?