Sweet Late-Night Whispers

I came home pretty late from a party tonight-- about 10:30pm. I went into our room to say goodnight to Joe, who always heads to bed way earlier than I do... And then I tiptoed to Noah and Lucy's room to check on them and adjust their covers. Lo and behold, someone was awake, and sat up when I walked in. 

This girl-- sweet Lucy. Sometimes when she naps hard in the afternoon, she doesn't really go to sleep at night for a good long time. But she's a mellow one once she's in her bed. Whether it's naptime or bedtime, even if she's not tired, she'll play in her bed quietly, look at books, talk to herself  and make up games... She is perfectly content. It's the sweetest thing. And sometimes, every once in a while, if I go peek in on her late at night, around the 9:00 or 10:00pm hours, she is just mellow enough to be almost sleepy, and she's in a rare mood of buoyant smiliness and joy, and I ADORE it. She smiles with a shy, bubbly quiet giggle, over and over, like she knows she's getting away with something and like she knows it's pretty neat to get this dim, peaceful, special time one-on-one with me. I kneel next to her tiny toddler bed, and she sits up, and we whisper to each other. I ask her questions like, "Are you tired? Are you happy? Is Bunny Bunny feeling snuggly?" etc., and she answers in whispers, and those giggles punctuate her answers. We talk, I read her a book or two, we play a few little games.... pinch each other's noses and laugh at the sounds, play peek a boo with the blankets, etc. etc., and it feels like a gift--- an unexpected, special, dimly glowy gift to be there, whispering with my baby girl. 

I can tell she feels it too-- that magic. She is pliant, peaceful, almost reverent.... But also immensely happy. Her smiles during these times are almost too much to take in. It feels like the best of her, and it brings out the best in me, and we both cherish it. 

The thing is, it's not something I can plan for, sneak up on, or predict. These times just..... happen. It's maybe happened four times total, ever. And each time it feels fleeting and rare, and I'm not sure I'll get it ever again. 

But then again, maybe it'll happen in different ways as she grows. Maybe one day it'll be us, snuggled on her teenage bed, late one night after a date or a heartbreak, and we'll whisper of harder things, of more grown-up things, and she'll be pliant and willing to open to me in her 16-year-old-ness.... Rare, special.... 

I deeply hope so. I cherish her so very much. And I adore feeling cherished back during these late-night whispers. 

♥

{These pink photos are from back in March, when she gave me some lovely moments in front of the camera.... She's grown since then, but these particular photos still look just like her, to me.}