Oh Lucy. Lucy, Lucy, Lucy....

I look at that photo of you on the left, and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... You are perfection. The curls. The toothy smile. The little hands clasped. The sparkle in your eyes. You are the light of my days, and I feel such joy in being your mama. 

But then there's that photo on the right. In just the last few weeks, the sunny, easy-going Lucy has been replaced more and more with.... Well, with THAT Lucy. The Monster 18-Month Old.  

Where before, if I needed to tell you "no", to deflect your attention from something (a toy at the store, something special of Noah's, anything breakable or dangerous, etc.), you were so easily swayed and redirected to something else. It was so simple. 

Now? Oh, girl. You have learned what "no" means, and you get ANGRY when it is said to you. The growly scream you've begun to perfect is so. loud. And persistent. You will FIGHT for that thing like mad.

Where before, you'd be so chill and pleasant when we went out in public, happy to ride in the cart/be carried around/ hang out near mom and dad.

Now? You have to wriggle free. You have to have anything you see that catches your eye. You have to try to do things yourself. And you get LOUD when that doesn't happen. 

Where before, if Noah wasn't quite sharing as well as he should, I could hand you something else, most ANYTHING else, and you'd be content.

Now? You KNOW he's got something better than you and you holler at him and at me and try your darndest to wrest it away from him. And scream. And bawl. 

*

I think I am starting to lose my mind. 

I've been so spoiled. My baby girl has been so sweet. It's been AGES since I've had to work on hard discipline with EITHER of my kiddos. Noah is pretty easily communicated with when he needs to be taught things, and if we keep him fed and rested, he's not a stinker about anything. Really--- if we can keep him from saying "poop" too much, he's basically awesome. 

So to now face the monster 18-month-old issues, which I know are COMPLETELY normal and should be expected, I feel really unprepared and rusty and stressed out.  I just don't remember how to help facilitate Lucy's new independence... How to direct it and encourage positive structure and how to get a thick skin when I'm in public and totally embarrassed by her screeching anger at not getting what she wants. 

Help?

Seriously.... I am RUSTY. Can any of you other mamas of toddlers/veteran mamas who've had toddlers in the past/childcare types offer any insights? Reassurances? Advice? Even war stories? At the very least, if I feel like I'm not alone, I might get through this. 

!!

My memory of Noah at this age is that he was REALLY tough from 15 months old until about 20 months. Then he eased into a lovely phase after that where he understood boundaries a bit more, was able to communicate a bit better, and wasn't so VOCAL in his anger.  We were lucky in that he had his "terrible two's" early and was pretty lovely during his 2's. 

So can I hope that this will be short-lived with Lucy? That her formerly pleasant demeanor will ease back in sooner than later?

Is the key going to be ME? And my consistency in how I handle her reactions? 

(I suspect that's the secret: me. And what I decide to do to help her manage her reactions.)

So. 

Help, if you can. If you have thoughts on what I need to start doing/change/work on, I'm ready. My sweet Lucy deserves a well-prepared mama ready to help her tackle all of these new skills/emotions/awarenesses she's developing. 

Because despite being at my wit's end more and more these days, I sure love that stinker. And I want to be her best mama.  

Everyday-ness....

Just a bit of everyday-ness from back in September. It doesn't feel that long ago, but a few things of note:

1. Lucy wasn't walking yet... Now she is.

2. It was GORGEOUS outside. Now, notsomuch.

3. We've fully stripped the blue striped wallpaper in the dining room. And haven't done a thing since. 

At the time, I snapped pics because Lucy was wearing her new pinafore I'd made her, and I couldn't stop oogling over how cute she was in it. Then Noah can home from preschool and was on a learning kick, writing out his shaky new alphabet, and I was charmed by him, too... So the photo snapping continued and I got in the groove and just kept the camera out the rest of the afternoon. I love having moments like these in photographs. They're so ordinary. So basic. And so "us". Someday I'll miss these moments most.

Below: I'd bought these paper owls because Lucy had recently become enamored with all things owl-- hooting every time she saw one. I put them on the walls all over the house, and this was the first day she noticed them. And promptly wanted every one of them OFF the wall and in her hands. Oh well. It was a cute idea.

And that great old electronic thing near Lucy: It's a classic reel-to-reel recorder, circa 1960's, something random and marvelous I picked up at the Gypsy Caravan this year. I have plans for it, photographically. Meanwhile, I LOVE that it has all these buttons and knobs for my kids to explore. I love it.

Moving on to Mom's bracelets.... I made these with magnetic closures, and she and Noah have not been able to get enough of them. Pretty!

Now Noah is home, and checking out his new whiteboard poster-- christening it with a fabulous attempt at the alphabet. He loves being able to erase and write again as much as he wants. Note the extra markers in his pocket... Gotta stay prepared!

Moving upstairs, Lucy happily ventures into Noah's room to play on the rocking airplane. She has gotten really good at getting herself on and off of the thing. Also in his room, Noah just enjoys being goofy whenever possible.

Back out in the play area outside his room, Lucy explores books, Noah reads books of his own, and I check out a shirt that has come in the mail for baby #3. Foxy!

Downstairs now, and ready to explore outside since it is such a lovely day. Lucy likes the shoe shelf, Noah ponders a tricycle ride... we're just happy for a gorgeous afternoon to take advantage of.

(Lucy found her old binkies. She is intrigued by them. She's not getting back into the habit-- she just bites them and tries to get me to take one, too. She's a weirdo.)

 

Noah picks a heart-shaped Ginko leaf for Lucy.... And we end the day together, waiting for dad to come home, ready to move into the evening routine of dinner, baths, stories, and bedtime. 

Ordinary. Sweet. Lovely.