When I was actually blogging on the regular, photos were a massive part of that activity. This was a place to let the photos tell the story as much as the words. I don't know how much I still have in me to take and prep photos for this purpose.... I'm not even being as post-y on Instagram and Facebook recently... (Maybe that's something I need to dig into and think about. The "why"....)

But today is Friday, and even if you haven't seen a post-a-day, I HAVE sat down to type a little every day, and today felt like maybe we could do more photos than words, kind of an easing into the weekend.

So in keeping with the overall slowdown of my blogging and posting, etc., I've also dropped down to a place where I almost NEVER take "everyday" photos with my real camera. The very capable and VERY convenient iPhone 12ProMax does the bulk of the work these days. And that's okay. Except that those photos aren't on my desktop computer, so it's not as easy as you'd think to just grab the week's photos and drop them in a blog post. It takes PLANNING. And waiting for things to upload, download, etc. 

But even if I was still taking lots of Big Camera photos and uploading them to this computer, there's still the endless dilemma of getting them over to Lightroom to cull them and edit them before they're ready for sharing. 

 It's honestly kid of a lose-lose, at least in this passive blogging mindset I'm in right now. I need to think this whole thing through and decide what I want out of this blogging act. For the moment, I just wanted to get my rusty fingers typing again. But maybe I'll eventually want to get my rusty photo-posting to warm back up too. I dunno.

What you are getting, therefore, is a very cute set of photos from spring, the last time I consciously took out my big camera to take photos of each of my kids individually and all together.  I actually already have plans to do a new set of these this weekend, a Fall Edition, so it might be fun to see these now, and then compare them to the new ones I will get in the next few days. But for now.... here's what I have for you:

 

LARKIN, age 5.5

 

 

 

QUINN, age 9

 

LUCY, age 11

 

NOAH (and Fiona), age 14.5

 The Whole Gang

 

That's it. I got some typing in, I gave y'all some photos.... It's officially the weekend as far as this blog is concerned. Byeeeee!!

For Quinn, Who Turned Seven Today

 

This sweet third kid of mine, Quinn Atticus... He is away with dad on a neat little trip to Utah, so I don't get to celebrate him in person just yet... But I didn't want to let the day end without a little tribute to his amazing freshly-7-year-old self. He is filled with goodness and light. He is happy by nature, and so loving. He loves people and friends, and has a soft spot for animals, too. He always takes a moment to get on Fiona (the cat)'s level to tell her hi and pet her, which I think is so sweet. He is infinitely patient with Larkin, his only sibling younger than him, when it would be quite easy to be constantly annoyed or bossy with her. 

 

Quinn has a smattering of faint freckles on the bridge of his nose, and I almost can't handle them, they are so cute. He adores soft pajamas-- even better if they have a hood-- and is in the thick of that "talk about video game apps nonstop" phase... so so excited by everything he is doing in those games. He loves to build things, whether it be out of Legos, Duplos, magnatiles, Lincoln Logs, blocks, or even just modeling clay. He loves to dance and LOVES to laugh. His laugh is still one of the most marvelous sounds I've ever heard on this entire earth. 

 

He loves me, and that's a gift because he's seen some pretty grumpy moments of mine. But he is so quick to forgive, and his love flows so easily. I hope I continue to deserve this amazing son of mine. At freshly seven years old, he is in that magical place between little and big, and it is an incredibly special place to be in. I hope we all relish it in him while it's here. 

 

Happy birthday, sweet kiddo. You are a gift. 

 

 

{photos from our autumn photo session with Sarah Quiara, who travels and will probably be in your state sometime this year if you want some photos. ♥}

Quinn is SIX!!

 

 Now We Are Six

 

When I was One,
I had just begun.
When I was Two,
I was nearly new.
When I was Three
I was hardly me.
When I was Four,
I was not much more.
When I was Five, 

I was just alive.
But now I am Six, 

I'm as clever as clever,
So I think I'll be six now 

for ever and ever. 

 

A.A. Milne

 

The day before his birthday, Quinn's whole kindergarten crew at school celebrated their 100th day. There are five kindergarten classes, and all the teachers planned a super fun celebration for the kids-- treats, games, crafts, collections, counting, etc. etc.  

This 100 Days thing is not new. My older two kids have gotten to celebrate with special activities during their kindergarten years... But one thing I've seen lots of other schools do that my school never did was to invite the kiddos to dress like they're 100 years old. I mean, COME ON. So cute!! I've envied all my friends' posts with their little grandmas and grandpas, and wished our school did that part of the 100 Day celebration. 

So imagine my delight when the flier came home this year WITH THE COSTUME PART ADDED! Woo!!!! Little old Grandpa Quinn, here we come!

Except, you cannot have missed his expressions in these photos. He was NOT into it. The suspenders and plaid shirt were already a major compromise. The glasses and the gray-dusted hair put him over the edge, and he was NOT a happy kiddo as we got ready for the bus. (Needless to say, I didn't even approach him with the makeup pencil to draw on some wrinkles. Even though it hurt my heart to have to skip it.)

He gamely posed for me anyway, but would NOT smile (I almost tricked him, in photo #2/4, if you look)... but this last shot, a candid, shows how he really felt. 

 

Dang it. 

Poor kiddo. 

(Poor me. I REALLY wanted this. How do other mamas get their kids into this idea???)

But never fear-- he ended up having a WONDERFUL day, and changed right into his jammies when he got home, and all was well. 

And this morning, his SIXTH birthday, I made sure to grab just a few more photos, so that he would not just have Sad Old Man portraits for his birthday:

And now he is six, and he's clever as clever. And so darn sweet. And funny. And handsome. And kind. We are lucky lucky lucky he's in our family, and so delighted to celebrate the HECK outta him today. 

 

Happy birthday, my beloved Quinn Atticus. 

Quinn is Five

 Quinn Atticus is five years old today. Quinn is:

Currently enamored with bats, particularly his classic Beanie Baby "Batty".

Totally into the cartoon series Gravity Falls. He wants to re-watch episodes daily. 

Incredibly tender and kind with his baby sister Larkin. He loves seeing her grow and change. 

Still totally into potty and body words... Just pushing the envelope enough to be irritating, not necessarily naughty. 

Tall and lean-- he's almost as tall as Lucy, and he's got her shoe size beat by a size.  

Not into wearing jeans or having his hair combed, but is pretty in love with his new footie jammies and his new slippers from Christmas.

He loves breakfast best, and would have it three meals a day if he could. 

Getting better and writing and drawing. He's had kind of had a weak grip and wobbly lines, and that is still there, but he's steadily improving. And I really think he's going to be a leftie. 

Into Legos and Pokemon and Minecraft and Terraria-- and his big brother Noah. In fact, I know that his hero-worship of his big brother guides his interests a great deal. He also imitates Noah's talk of Illuminati and his habit of changing song lyrics to be more obnoxious. 

Starting to be interested in nature shows and "science books", the bigger non-fiction (but still highly illustrated) books that Noah has always loved. 

Really into the music I've been playing from The Greatest Showman and Dear Evan Hansen-- he requests specific songs from both and I see him working on memorizing the lyrics and really singing along with feeling. It's so neat!

Becoming best buddies with Lucy, which is amazing to me after most of their history being one of rivalry (mostly instigated by Lucy. Quinn has always wanted to be her friend.)  Lucy is finally softening her prickles and they talk and play together a lot. 

Fun, funny, sweet, mostly chill.... such a great kiddo. He's going to be an amazing 5-year-old-- I can't wait to see what's ahead for him. ♥

Happy birthday, sweet Quinn-- thank you for being wonderful, marvelous you!

Hello, 2018: A Letter For My Readers and Some Gentle Reminders For Myself

Hello, Dear Readers. 

Are you out there? Do blogs still get read? I know I cling to mine because it's a safe haven for me... a place to be me-- to shout into the void and hope someone else can hear.  A journal, of sorts, but with that "public" component that probably many people don't care about at all... but for some reason (probably pridefulness, and a touch of ego, if I'm telling the whole truth) I seem to not be able to let go of. A place to show ME, be ME, and maybe have some of you nod along and love me in spite of the beautifully flawed human I am. 

So I blog. Not as much as I used to. Not as often as I would like to. Not as many How-To posts like I used to love to do... Definitely less of my professional work and sharing client sessions. But I limp along. And I have ideas and hopeful lists of things to write about... and maybe this will be my year to begin posting more again. Perhaps. Larkin's face up there in the first photo basically illustrates my hopefulness for figuring out my mess this year. 

Haha. 

The truth is (and oh how this pains the arrogant younger me still hiding inside to confess this)--the older I get, the more I realize how little I know. How many ways I fall short. How many things I could be doing better. So this face---

Oh gosh. Haha! It's a good one. It says: "Iiiiiii'm not so sure I've got this. But maybe? I'm halfway between meltdown and laughter, and that's a semi-permanent state of mind for me these days."

And it's okay. It's okay that 2018 has begin with a very cliche winter "funk". That I'm crawling out of my skin to get a handle on the four years of clutter that have piled up since we moved into this house. That I'm too grumpy at the single-digit windchills to fulfill my personal goal of getting outside every day and getting my kids outside with me. It's okay that I'm itchy to create and that I'm in a constant state of dissatisfaction with my talents as they currently stand. That I'm terribly disappointed that even at age 40 (gulp, still weird to say that), I have not mastered any kind of true discipline in anything. 

It's okay. 

This is me. This is real life. And this is January, man. it's probably built into our very chromosomes to feel restless and itchy and dissatisfied and a little crabby (and a LOT tired... I feel like maybe I was born to be a hibernating creature?) at the start of a new year. In the middle of winter. 

And I have to whisper to myself, try to re-convince myself:

* it's okay to slow down and turn inward in the cold winter months. 

* this wave of restless discontent is okay: it's important. It is something new beginning in you. It's only after these dips that more growth comes. 

* Naps are so good. No guilt. 

* Find "HYGGE"--- the Danish word for cozy warmth, slow contentment, easy companionship. In the middle of winter, when adventures away from home are too cold to take, find hygge and recognize hygge and create hygge here at home. 

* Recognize and be grateful for this part of the yearly cycle where you have little client work, and suddenly take way more photos of your own family and home again. Appreciate that craving and act on it. 

* It's okay to feel sad. Sit in it, feel it, explore it. And take care of yourself within it. 

* Put away the technology if it's just making you feel worse. Read a good book. What better time of year than this for a novel and a quilt?

* Look up. Even if it's -1 degrees, take two minutes to wrap a blanket or coat around you and step a half-foot outside the door and look up. Breathe real air. Find some stars or some clouds or some bare branches or some hardy birds flying. But just look up and take a few breaths. 

* It's okay to crave change. Make some lists and some loose plans and maybe begin one thing today. And then try to do that one thing again tomorrow. 

* Give yourself grace, and soften. Soften to your own faults and flaws...

* And also soften towards your loved ones. They can't read your mind; they don't know when you're blue and laggy and when you're weirdly energized and ready to clean the whole house. Soften to them and tell them how you're feeling and let them feel their feelings, too. And give them grace, as well. 

* Spring will come. Being busy and being outside and feeling centered will come again. It's okay to fill this space, now, with whatever you're feeling. Because it always gets better. ALWAYS. 

Maybe some of you need these same encouragements. Maybe some of my winter blahs are distinctively my own. But all of us need more grace--- for ourselves and our flaws. And all of us could probably stand to give more grace to our loved ones. And even to that crabby checkout lady at the store. 

So hello, 2018. I'm here. I'm mostly in the mood for a nap. But I'm also grateful for you. Because you are another adventure awaiting, in the slow sad times as well as the exciting, fresh times. I welcome all of it. And I will try to see the gift in every day. 

Love, 

Emily

*Photos: Spectacular bedheads all around inspired me to grab the real camera this past week. I do love how January always seems to bring me back to my big camera for personal photos. I vow to try to keep doing it, even when client work picks back up. I vow to share more of it, too. (Maybe. I'm so bad at that. So full of excuses about making time to edit and share my own personal photos. But I'll make the vow. And we'll see.)

Quinn Turns Four

This little stinker.... Quinn Atticus Southerland, is four years old today. 

On the one hand, I feel that bittersweet pang that my little toddler kid is officially not a toddler anymore... But. Today as I was thinking about this past year, I remembered that for so much of his third year, he was kind of a pill. I mean, the DAY he turned three last year, the Terrible Threes kicked in full force and we had a yell-y, defiant, emotional argumentative kiddo on our hands. It was a full 180 from his sweet two-year-old-ness. So yes--- I will miss his baby face and him being small and being my baby. But.... ya know? As he's grown out of that "terrible three" thing, I've seen more and more things I already love about him turning 4. He's more empathetic, he's getting more aware of facts and knowledge of the outside world... he is honing his inner world of imaginative play... He's pretty neat. 

Quinn today:

1. Is still passionate about trains. He has a radar for all things "train" and we've all refined that radar in ourselves because of it. That boy can find trains just about anywhere. Even if you (yes you) swear you don't have any in your house, he'll find one for sure. If not a toy, then a photo in a book or on a mug or in a movie. It's uncanny. 
2. His favorite color is green. 
3. He loves to say potty and body words, and we are constantly trying to instill in him when such things are appropriate and when they are not. *eyeroll*
4. He has been moved into the "bunk room" with Noah and Lucy and they're actually doing pretty great! Not as much bickering as I expected... and really the biggest instigator of "post-bedtime chatter" is Lucy. I think he loves being a "big kid."
5. Has these deeeep dark brown eyes, no gold behind the brown at all. They're hypnotic! 
6. Has a binkie overbite that makes his smile so big and so contagious. 
7. Loves LOVES to laugh and make others laugh, and his laugh can get so uncontrollable that it makes all of us join in.
8. Has caught the "screen time" bug and asks to "play games" (play on the iPad) ALL THE TIME. I have to be careful not to give in (because it's easy!) and to try to foster a variety of things for him to do.
9. Is in preschool two days a week and is apathetic at best about it. He already has learned to plead "I too sick to go to school!" at his young age, and tries it on me EVERY day we have to go.
10. Is great at lots of things (Minecraft, jumping on the bed, Legos, poop jokes) but is pretty weak at writing and drawing. He has wimpy fine motor abilities. I hope he gets it figured out soon. His wispy attempts kind of worry me sometimes. 
11. This kid is a whiz at lyrics and loves to sing along to songs. 

I know there are more details... but it's been a long day already, and I am almost brain dead... But for now... Enjoy the photos, taken just a week ago, and if you need more Quinn for your Quinn fix, here are some fun links to past birthdays of my fella.... so you can see for yourself how quickly this all goes by, how big he already is, and just how sweet and handsome my little dude is. 

Quinn  Turns Three! 

A Quinn MiniSession

Two Years of Quinn

Quinn's One-Year Cake Smash

Quinn Six Months Old

Quinn Newborn Photos

♥

Merry Christmas From Us!

First, here's our Christmas card this year....featuring photos from big cameras and phone cameras, and the talents of my friends Erin Duggin and Kate Benson. I love how in nine photos, it tells our year's story pretty well. 

*

Second, here are photos from earlier this month, with the help of Erin Duggin again. It was a happy day in early December, and we headed to go pick out our fresh fir tree right after this little minisession.

 

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Third, I had time and a wild hair yesterday, so I wrangled my four (four?! Four!!) kids into some quick, "come as you are, except let's add a hat" Christmas snaps. I'm so delighted with what we got. They're cute, they're real, they're basic, and they are TOTALLY THEM right this moment. 

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Merry Christmas, my beloveds. If you're reading this, trust me: I cherish you. Feel free to leave a comment even if you are a lurker coming out of the woodwork. I'd love to wish you a specific and personal happy new year. Here's to the year that grew Larkin and completed our family. Onward to new ideas and fresh plans for 2017. Much love from us!!