When I was actually blogging on the regular, photos were a massive part of that activity. This was a place to let the photos tell the story as much as the words. I don't know how much I still have in me to take and prep photos for this purpose.... I'm not even being as post-y on Instagram and Facebook recently... (Maybe that's something I need to dig into and think about. The "why"....)

But today is Friday, and even if you haven't seen a post-a-day, I HAVE sat down to type a little every day, and today felt like maybe we could do more photos than words, kind of an easing into the weekend.

So in keeping with the overall slowdown of my blogging and posting, etc., I've also dropped down to a place where I almost NEVER take "everyday" photos with my real camera. The very capable and VERY convenient iPhone 12ProMax does the bulk of the work these days. And that's okay. Except that those photos aren't on my desktop computer, so it's not as easy as you'd think to just grab the week's photos and drop them in a blog post. It takes PLANNING. And waiting for things to upload, download, etc. 

But even if I was still taking lots of Big Camera photos and uploading them to this computer, there's still the endless dilemma of getting them over to Lightroom to cull them and edit them before they're ready for sharing. 

 It's honestly kid of a lose-lose, at least in this passive blogging mindset I'm in right now. I need to think this whole thing through and decide what I want out of this blogging act. For the moment, I just wanted to get my rusty fingers typing again. But maybe I'll eventually want to get my rusty photo-posting to warm back up too. I dunno.

What you are getting, therefore, is a very cute set of photos from spring, the last time I consciously took out my big camera to take photos of each of my kids individually and all together.  I actually already have plans to do a new set of these this weekend, a Fall Edition, so it might be fun to see these now, and then compare them to the new ones I will get in the next few days. But for now.... here's what I have for you:

 

LARKIN, age 5.5

 

 

 

QUINN, age 9

 

LUCY, age 11

 

NOAH (and Fiona), age 14.5

 The Whole Gang

 

That's it. I got some typing in, I gave y'all some photos.... It's officially the weekend as far as this blog is concerned. Byeeeee!!

Back in the Springtime: A Tea Party MiniSession With My Girls and Their Daddy

Back in the springtime, I had the chance to book someone pretty special for a mini session with my girls. More than ten years ago, I was Sonni's high school English teacher, and she was a wise-beyond-her-years, poised, charming teenager. So smart. So talented at whatever she tried. Fast forward a decade, and Sonni McCune, of McCune and Co. Photography, is a polished and talented photographer and a wife (to another former student!!) and mother to a cute daughter just a little older than Larkin. She rocks the weddings and loves to photograph families and little children, too. 

It's been so neat to follow her journey as well as her business accounts on Instagram and Facebook, and when she advertised this sweet tea party mini session, using a beautiful image of her own husband and daughter (seriously, click the link to her website to see it for yourself-- it's one of the first photos!), I knew I wanted a spot in her lineup. I knew, just because of her one sample image, that I wanted my own Joe to be in a few of the photos. And I knew I was going to be so lucky to get new photos of my beautiful girls where I didn't have to do ANY OF THE WORK. Ha! 

See for yourselves-- Sonni is magic, and so are these photos. I love them! (And please don't let the months-later posting of them be any indication of how I feel about them...I'm just always behind when it comes to ANY photo sharing, mine or others. Yikes.)

Not just the adorable tea party moments.... but also the farmhouse steps... the field of flowers... the twirling, the little Larkin smooches... Sisters together. All of it. I am so lucky. These photos are a gift, and these three beloveds of mine are a gift. Thank you for taking the time to peek.

Every Morning For Now

Every morning for the last six years, give or take a few, this is one of the places I stand-- behind my girl, a basket of supplies nearby, wrangling tangles and coaxing Lucy's thick hair into a ponytail, or a braid or two. First I take out any previous ponytail holders. Then I usually add a small dollop of leave-in-conditioner, focusing primarily on that middle patch of hair in the back where her hair begins to spill down her back-- the place where tangles form into a briar patch of knots. I then spray her hair with water and begin working out tangles with a Wet Brush-- a miracle brush I've had less than a year that I should have spent the money on years ago. As much as I try to keep the pain to a minimum, she flinches on many of the brush strokes until I've managed to get the tangles out or down to the part of her hair where I can then grip the whole mass of hair and use my fist as the buffer to pain while I yank on tangles more vigorously within the ponytail hanging down from my hand. If you've ever brushed long hair, I'm certain you know exactly what I'm talking about. 

Once her hair is tangle-free, I make a part in the top front, and pull her face-framing hair into a small ponytail or french braid, only along the right side of her head-- preventative measures to keep her hair out of her face all day. There is nearly never a day that her right front side of her hair is not contained in one of these ways. I've never been able to let myself let it go, and consequently, she has never learned how to keep her hair out of her face herself. I still don't know just how much of a disservice I've done her by always keeping her hair tamed.... time will tell, I suppose. 

After this first ponytail/braid, I then usually either brush her hair into a low pony or into two braids. Again, this almost never varies, and the reasons are nuanced: 1. Since hearing scare stories from fellow moms about head lice, I decided early on in her school career that I'd just go ahead and never send her to school with her hair down. Easy enough. 2. But because she nearly never has her hair down, when I do give her that option, say for church or just a random summer day, she nearly never opts for it. She is a creature of routine, and I've created the routine of "hair up", so she doesn't choose "hair down". 3. I've tried to talk her into a bun or two. Nope-- too different from the routine. 4. I snuck her hair into a high ponytail last week-- her first one-- and she didn't say anything about it. Good or bad. Which means maybe I can add that to the menu now. But maybe still not actually ask her if she wants it or not. Because she'll say no. Because it's not what she's used to. But she didn't mind it when it was in all day last week. So.

At least once a month, when she's particularly vocal about the hair-brushing pain, usually after two or three days of being home with nowhere to be, and not having her hair brushed daily-- these days which also seem to yield a higher likelihood that she'll either be in costume and/or rolling around the floor/in a blanket/in and out of a play tent/etc. where friction compounds her tangles--I then threaten to take her to get her hair cut. Not short.... not like a bob or anything.... But maybe shoulder-length? I tell her that it would make hair-brushing a breeze every time. She says she loves her long hair, and used to protest the idea of a cut more... but recently, she hasn't argued to keep it long when I bring it up. So I see a trim in our future. Maybe only 3-4". 

After all this--- the actual work and the overthinking of the actual work.... the agony (for her head and my nerves) of working out particularly bad tangles...the wondering if I've created problems by under-instructing her on how-tos and over-containing the flyaway potential and being too routine overall.... After all this, I still love the feel of her hair under my hands. I love the moment every day that we are physically connected, engaging in a timeless ritual between mother and daughter. I love that she lets me. (That she doesn't even know any different). I love turning chaos into silken order. I'm even getting better at the braiding bit. 

But as she moves from age 7 to age 8 soon, I've begun to realize I can't do it for her forever. She's going to need to learn some things for herself. So we've begun a few little lessons here and there-- how to brush one's own hair. How to make a ponytail (I never realized how complicated this is to someone who's never done it. Harder than tying shoes, even.) Soon I'll begin helping her try shampooing and rinsing her own hair. (It's so THICK. I haven't been able to bring myself to let her do it on her own yet... all I can envision is clumps of conditioner still deep in her hair, unrinsed.) 

I know a large percentage of mothers out there would read this and be SHOCKED we've not done any of this until now. But maybe some of the moms are where I'm at. And maybe a few more won't even begin this much teaching until a few more years after age 8. To each her own. I think maybe the girls will all turn out okay in this area, eventually. (Though watching my girl with a ponytail holder, still not grasping how to pull the hair through it.... ay yi yi.)

All this to say-- Every morning for the last six years, this ritual, this act of love and caregiving, has been a good and humble work. The simple task of brushing hair, braiding hair, smoothing hair. Using my hands to show her I love her and I care about her well-being. And one day it'll be over. She'll take the brush into her own hands and she'll learn her own way. And I will miss this. But I get to do it a while longer. Every morning. Every morning for now. 

Flashback: Lucy's Woodland Tea Party

 

Once upon a time, on a beautiful, if windy, April afternoon, over a year ago, Lucy had an absolutely magical birthday party in our backyard--a woodland-themed tea party. This is the post where I share all the fun details and ideas and photos from this dream-come-true party... but it's also where I tell you that even the most ideal-looking moments can often have some heavy doses of reality on the side... the parts of the Pinterest-worthy party you DON'T see... you don't expect. 

To begin with, it has been a full year since my sister Beckie and I made this magic happen, and I'm only now making the time to edit and post the images. How's that for real life? 

 I will confess it right now: I adore going FULL PINTEREST MOM on birthday parties. I love decorating cakes/cupcakes. I love making party favors. I love thinking about invitations, decorations, and all the accompanying details that complete a theme. If you've followed me at all over the years, you might remember Noah's superhero party. Lucy's rainbow party. A monster-themed party for Quinn's first birthday. A Minecraft party for Noah. We even did ANOTHER tea party two years before this one, when Lucy turned 4. I love the madness. I love the planning. I love going all-out. But because it's SO much work, Joe and I decided pretty early on that we'd only throw a birthday party for each of our children every other year. 

So we did this woodland tea party in honor of Lucy turning six, back in 2017. Lucy had mentioned she wanted another tea party, but beyond that, didn't have many, if any, requests. So with my sister living with us last spring, ready to help and a MAGICIAN in the kitchen, I was able to find a million cute ideas online for tea parties, and know that with Beckie's help, we could make it happen pretty easily. It didn't take long for me to hone in on all the cute woodland versions of a tea party. Red polka-dotted mushrooms and critters and flowers and greenery.... Enough of a switch from Lucy's former tea party to feel fresh. 

I decided we needed a party tent this time.... since we'd be doing it at noon, with the sun high in the sky, and with not enough shade in the backyard.. and as a way to keep the party going even if rain entered the forecast. But no one had a tent to lend, and I didn't REALLY want to rent one for lots of dollars... And eBay had some decent-looking tents for purchase for pretty cheap. I figured it would be an investment I could use again, potentially in my photography business. So our party plan centered around this tent: we'd move our dining room table to the yard and decorate inside the party tent. 

Beckie took charge of the food and snacks. I took charge of the cupcakes, the decorations, and the activities. On the day of the party, Joe was a critical third teammate-- he helped with setup, heavy lifting, and corralling the baby when she wasn't napping. In spite of a very snappy wind, everything came together really well:

 

 One of my very favorite details of the party, even though they took a lot of time, was the set of critter masks-- six different woodland animals for the six expected guests (since Lucy was turning six, ya know?). I got the patterns for these masks off of Pinterest, and I opted to use a combo of sticky and non-sticky craft foam to make them, to keep it as easy as possible. It was REALLY FUN seeing these come together! 

 

For food, we had:

 ~ strawberry "ladybugs"

~ flower-shaped cheese sandwiches and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches 

~ grape kebab "caterpillars"

~ dishes of pretzels

~ cherry tomato and string cheese "mushrooms"

~ a hedgehog cheese ball with crackers

~ donut hole "acorns"

~ lemonade and fruit punch in place of tea

~ cupcakes decorated like mushrooms and grass

~ mini cupcakes with flowers (my first time trying those cool Russian frosting tips! Kind of tricky!)

 

The activity table included three things:

~ a little set of pots with dirt and flowers for planting their own little flowerpot scene. They had their pick of tiny woodland animals to add to the scene. 

 ~ some chocolate Cheerios and some fruit Cheerios and some string for making necklaces

~ a stack of green cardstock and some sidewalk chalk for making art

 

And listen-- here is where the reality behind the PRETTINESS comes in: Despite the fabulous details, the cute cute food (thank you, sister!!!), and the benefit of good photography to capture it all, there were many things that threatened to ruin this whole party. 

First and foremost, have I already mentioned it was WINDY? This wind, snapping and brisk and constant, was a challenge. And frankly, my cheapskate tent from eBay was no match for it. We started out with only one wall open, but the tent was trapping the wind like crazy with no exit for it, and the whole thing half-collapsed multiple times.  We then opened the back wall and brought out bags of rocks to anchor each leg. It was never enough. The wind kept rocking the tent, and each time it half-collapsed, more pieces of the structure would bend and snap. The walls were whipping in and out, and flying onto the kids.... a couple of us were basically standing holding the thing up for the whole first part of the party. It was a fiasco. I was heartbroken. So was my dumb wallet, now lighter by $70-ish bucks on a tent that would never be reusable again. 

At the halfway point, then, I just turned to Joe and asked him to help me take the tent down and move the table to a patch of shade that had formed as the sun passed the high-noon mark. It wasn't as "cute", but it worked like a charm. 

And the second bummer of the day: Lucy had invited 5 guests for her party of six. Two never RSVP'd, and one had to cancel that morning. So after all the planning and cuteness, only two guests came. If we're measuring success by the headcount, and the number of folks raving about the cuteness afterward, this would probably have to be counted a flop. 

BUT: 

1. Quinn was there, too, and MORE than happy to step in as a participant. In fact, wild horses couldn't have kept him away. So with Quinn and Lucy and two guests, our count went back up to four. 

2. The two girls who did come are two of Lucy's very favorite people. 

3. Frankly, Lucy is more of a "small numbers/introvert" style of kid anyway, so she was 1,000% happy with her party just the was it was. It was not overwhelming to her, and she was able to play one-on-one with each of her friends. 

So here's the message here, for anyone who needs it, especially me: Do this kind of thing because you LOVE it, not because you feel like you're supposed to throw elaborate, themed parties. Do it for your own sense of satisfaction, and then make sure to do it for the actual KID herself, too. I could have made fancier food, but I always tried to keep in mind that I was feeding 6-year-olds. I could have come up with elaborate games and been a drill sergeant about running them.... But I knew my girl, so I kept the activities simple, and set them out in a way that the girls could do them or skip them, or do one but not the other, etc. And they loved it-- they flitted about like butterflies, playing in the yard, dabbling in one activity or another, sampling more food, etc. And it was FINE. The wind breaking the tent, though incredibly frustrating in the moment, was ultimately FINE. The tiny group of four for such a BIG party idea... it was FINE. In fact, it was more than fine, it was PERFECT. Just look at my girl's face to see for yourself. 

(And if this whole thing gives you hives, and you HATE doing parties like this, I RELEASE YOU. Don't do it! Take them to Sky Zone or Monkey Joe's or offer your kids money in lieu of a party-- You do you!! It's okay!)

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So thank you for joining me for this fun flashback... for letting me go over the top in a few areas of my life, while constantly learning lessons in letting go and learning to accept the moment for exactly what it is, even when it means I have to relinquish control a little. Thank you for coming back to read my blog now and again, and for indulging my tendency to use too many words and take too many photos. And to always, ALWAYS be behind on editing all of the above. 

Here's to the end of April, to tea parties whenever you can have them, and to the magic in being a kid. And here's to being the creator of some of that magic, sometimes. 

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