The Many Ways in Which I Am a Mess

1. I only think to floss when I have an impending dentist appointment.

2. I've developed a serious phobia of the dentist in recent years, so I never have an impending dentist appointment.

3. I start projects. But lots of times, I'm notsogood at FINISHING projects.

4. I hate making dinner. HATE it. I hate trying to remember to begin prepping it so that it's ready by 6:00pm or so. I hate that wave of "oh crap, I have to think about dinner now". I hate shopping for dinner groceries. I hate menu-planning. I am terrible at all of the above, mostly from a motivation perspective. I confess I let Joe take the reins far too often, simply because I've already given up on the thought of it for the day and he is trying to keep us from going to get some junk fast food again... so even after a full day of work for him, he is often in the kitchen pulling together the "easy stuff" I keep around, because I've shut down in the Dinner Department already for the day.

5. It takes me days, if not weeks, to check my voicemails. I just don't make the time to stop and listen... more often than not because I'm either going to have a symphony of loud kid noises in my other ear anyway, or I'm not in a position to be able to jot down info or call someone right back... So I kind of pretend the voice mails aren't there, for far too long.

6. I am the WORST at timely response, especially via email and FB messenger, but also sometimes even texts. I suffer from the issue of wanting to be able to give a well-written, thoughtful response, but not usually being in a position to drop things and sit at a real computer and type a genuine careful, thoughtful reply.... so then I put it off. And the list of "needs to be replied to" gets bigger, and then when there IS time to sit and write, there are so many things needing replies by then, that I get paralyzed and ignore it all some more. It's bad. It's one of my flawiest flaws, and has only gotten worse over the last three years or so. I get really mad at myself about it, but I've yet to begin to nip it in the bud. I am so so sorry if/when you've been affected by this particularity awful trait of mine.

7. I am addicted to sugar, and am so unapologetic about it. I'm not ready (may not ever be) to even consider cutting out refined sugar from my life. Preposterous. Even when there is evidence aplenty (if I un-squint my eyes and let myself read the articles) as to why I should never touch the stuff again.... I just love it too much to say goodbye. Sorry not sorry.

8. Also, I probably take too many naps. I mean, at least in this category, studies back me up... so I let myself read those articles, haha! But still. Think of all the things I could accomplish if I cut out the three or four naps a week I take. But I'm wired to nap... even before having kids I was a napper... even letting myself lose the guilt (for the most part) early in my 20's with SARK's book "Change Your Life Without Getting Out of Bed".

So yeah. I nap. I love it. And I lose productivity time because of it.

9. I'm almost always late registering my car and paying my quarterly sales tax for my business. Those kinds of tasks that are out of my usual routine and involve paying out money usually not budgeted for.... Man, when those things come up, I just do NOT make mental room for them in a timely way.

10. After over a month of sporting some hideous poison ivy forearms (it's still there, but fading, finally), I think I'm getting a cold sore today.

11. My swim suit is 5 years old and has started leaving sticky black gunk on my neckline.  

12. My go-to Capri-length jeans have a now-unavoidably large hole in the inner-thigh zone, but I keep wearing them. Also, I suspect capris are no longer fashionable, but I keep wearing them. 

13. Getting myself to the post office to mail critical things for my businesses is , like, SO HARD. I am so bad at mailing things. 

14. I love order and organization, but I'm terribly inconsistent. I tend to make "neat little piles" in between organization bouts, and "neat little piles" still feel cluttery to me. But I cant seem to figure out a different way. 

15. I get crabby when I'm really hot or really hungry. Snappish and unpleasant. Steer clear. 

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I could go on and on..... So many ways I'm just a mess. But I promise I'm not throwing a pity party. Its just that perhaps it's not clear to folks around me that I'm struggling with my own set of failings and weaknesses... That all of us are. Even the ones who blog and manage to take photos and make crafties. In fact, I suspect we right-brained types are more of a mess than most. But no.... Actually, I bet the left-brained folks are their own kind of mess, just in different ways. We're all trying to be more than we currently are. We all want to be better, kinder, healthier, more SOMETHING.  We all see shortcomings in ourselves; deal daily with things we are SO BAD at. And I don't know about you--- but it makes me feel better, gives me more hope, when I realize I'm not alone in this. We are ALL a mess, somehow or another. And it is what makes us human, and perhaps even more lovable. That we all struggle, we all fight with our own selves daily. For me, at least, the more I realize I cannot do it all, the more I discover deep wells of empathy and love for my fellowwomen who are also muddling through and just trying to be authentic--- the good, the bad, and the total mess. 

So I'm not fishing for reassurances here. Instead, I'm offering you the hand of friendship, in unified solidarity for all the things we aren't so great at. I kind of love that I've got a long way to go. It means, maybe, I don't have to stagnate in this life. It means I can always get BETTER. It means this is not the end.... That this current day is always a sort of BEGINNING. 

So fellowwomen--- let's clasp hands, share our failings, and laugh. Just laugh that we all have them, and we're all still okay. We really are all still okay.

(One of my friends posted this on Instagram yesterday. It put a lump in my throat. Beautiful.)