Briefly: On Chewing Gum in Bed

Blog reader Office-To-Aprons, this is for you
(And may I know your first name, if you get feelin' crazy?):

So, yes. I chew gum in bed. It started when I was pregnant and would get SO thirsty at night. I'd wake with the WORST cotton mouth, and lumber out of bed to get a drink of water. But, and maybe this is just me, having that drink of water then would only make my mouth DRIER later in the night. So, inevitably, I'd wake AGAIN and need ANOTHER drink, and so on and so forth. It was a terrible catch 22. It's like when you lick your lips because they're dry. Wetting them feels good momentarily, but then the saliva dries them out further, so you lick them again. Which dries them out so you lick them again. Ya know?

So.

I finally got so tired of lumbering out of bed to drink water (and then, inevitably, to pee), that I popped a piece of Trident one night... And ya know what? That little piece of gum kept my mouth all saliva-y all night.

So to answer your questions, all:
1. No it doesn't ever get in my hair. I must just have more control now as an adult than we did as kids.
2. I never choke on it. Some nights, I even totally swallow it without knowing and in the morning, NO GUM. But never a choking spell.
3. Yep, I wake up in the morning, chew it a couple more times, then throw it in the bathroom trash when I get up.
4. Yes, I know it is weird, and maybe even a little crazy. But I love it. It was a perfect solution to my weird little problem.

The end.