Writing "morning pages" in an effort to proceed with my "Artist's Way" goal... Three longhand pages every morning, with no real "POINT", just a mind blurt to get things flowing, mind de-gunked, all that.... And while most of the time my morning pages end up being either a laundry list of whines or a cataloguing of my things needed to get done that day, sometimes there are real epiphanies that appear in the middle of the messy piles of handwriting (SO messy, since these days I have to "morning page" with Noah around, so I RACE to get them written before he really needs me. The little needy cute irritating lovable stinker.)

Today's epiphany--- that the massive things on my to-do list that cause me the most angst and anger are my personal photo albums/photo books... Well, that part isn't the epiphany. I've know about this stressful task since forever, and it WEIGHS on me. So much so that I finally committed, hardcore, to get them DONE this winter, while business is slow.

And here it is, January 27th, and have I touched them?

Um, no.

Of course not.

Easy to keep finding OTHER things to do instead. Worthy things. GOOD things. But not THIS thing. The task of completing the sorting, purging and cataloguing of my personal photos so I can insert them into the coffee table books I have planned.

And it is like I am dragging around an extra 20 pounds of psychic WEIGHT because of it.

So today's epiphany.... what if I just PUSH??? Push push push and schedule this task with some hardcore deadlines and even some hardcore all-nighters? If I can get a GOOD stretch of time, I can really DO this thing. But as a mama, there is no such thing as a GOOD stretch of time...

Except in the middle of the night.

Hm.

What if I pulled a few all-nighters to REALLY get ahead?

(are you with me? Have you seen I am writing this at 1:57 am??)

Lucky for me, Joe's schedule this semester is really great in the mornings. His earliest class is 11:00 am, so if I could get him on board with my harebrained scheme, he could cover for me in the mornings after these work binges and we'd ALL win. I'd knock these horrible things off of a THREE-YEAR-LONG TO-DO LIST and he'd get a photo album to enjoy and we'd both get sleep... just at incongruous times.

And.... so it is 1:59 am.

And 2006 is DONE except the "hit send" button. Now, before you congratulate me too much, 2006 was 75% done, and has been 75% done for, oh, three years. It just needed to be FINALIZED. So this didn't take an ALL-nighter, just a REALLY LATE-nighter.

The next three years are going to be......... PAINFUL.

I just take too damn many photos.

*sigh*

Anyway.... the point is... the epiphany today felt REALLY sound. Good. Exciting. Like I could PUSH through these blocks and GET THESE THINGS DONE, and then maybe be better about keeping up on them over the years from now on.

But it is now 2:01 am and I'm wondering.....

Was that epiphany a wise one?

am I out of my mind?

Or am I reclaiming a piece of my mind by clearing this out and getting it done?

I'm off to bed. I'll maybe have a better idea in the morning. When I am tired, dragging, but DONE with 2006.

Ah, who knows.

sorry for the boring blog post.

I have two really fun ones up my sleeve and hovering in Lightroom, waiting to be edited. One is a tutorial and one is a Bare-it-All you'll love and maybe even want to go try for yourselves...

But they're not here, not now. Still need to be finished and posted.

So you get a crazy lady rambling session at 2:03 am.

And that is all.

Time to spell check and publish and GO TO BED.

(and boy oh BOY do I need spell check. I type like a true blue FOOL, I do.)

(Turns out "nighter" is not a real word. And I used it 4 times. Well, 5 now. neener, neener, I'm keeping it in. It serves my purposes.)

Night-Night! :)

(2:08 am). Done. For real.

Holiday Mini Session {St. Louis Children's Photographer}

Last post of 2009! Yahoo! These were one of the last sessions I did last year--- my Holiday MiniSessions. I had the cutest kids turn out in their wintry/Christmassy best for a few shots their moms and dads could have in tiem for Christmas cards and Grandparent gifts.

We got to try out my new sunroom and my classy little backdrop setup with the fake presents (Noah tried to open them. Ha! Poor kid. Nothing but books in them, for weight.)

Anjd I got to flirt with, cajole, shake candy at, and play with kids from 1 month old to 2 years old. I loved it! Check some of my favorites out:





















And that, my friends, wraps up 2009.

And though I have a few 2010 sessions to share, I am reveling in being mostly a NON-photographer for the moment... letting the other sides of my self come out a bit and have some time in the sun. It's a good time to regroup as an artist in general, and find some new inspirations, choose some different outlets of expression.... to refill the well and recharge the soul.

And it's funny, but in the midst of this season of less-busy work, I sometimes even feel like never taking another photograph again.

Did I just say that?

Yeah. I guess I did. Sometimes I want to just remind myself and other folks that I am not a photographer ONLY.... And sometimes I want to stop. And go play my banjo. Or write.

Or, who am I kidding, go take a nap...

Ha! anyway. This semi-hiatus is trickling through my fingers quicker than I'd like, and I am desperately trying to live it to the fullest-- checking things off the non-work to-do list, making little things, reading a few novels, taking a few more naps... And I have to keep the panic at bay... the panic that I am running out of TIME.

'Cause March-June is almost completely booked. **GULP** With two weddings, trips to Portland/Wisconsin/Massachusetts/Nashville/Indianapolis, and three workshops thrown in. EEP!

And it will begin again, in full force--- that photographer side of my life.

Ack.

am I ready?

No.

But it's okay. I still have a month.

So I need to GET OFF THIS COMPUTER and go watch some Netflix with my hubs, I say.

'Night!