Just.... weird.

It is like a journal.... but with the added outside viewership/validation. It is a way to connect. It is a place for an audience. It is not impolite to be completely candid and blunt. There are no RULES beyond not being offensive enough to be flagged.

Why do I do it?

Used to be just a place to tuck little posts about my little life. Well.... it still is, actually... But used to be read by only four people. And now, while it is NOT a huge blog by any means, I do get a few more than four people checking in.

And that changed my blogging.

And lately, I have been missing those four people... and the other six or ten others who were with me from the start.

And I wonder why I blog... these days. To keep up with the Jones'? To stay "current" so my business thrives? To stay sane as a stay-at-home-mom? To infuse meaning into my day? To be popular?

And is any of it healthy? Unhealthy?

And are people still reading, even though my comment count has dropped significantly in the last few months?

And does that even matter?

(I do blame Google Reader a LOT. Convenient-- YES. Easy to skim/read/not go to the actual blog to say hi? YES oh YES. I am totally guilty of this.)

And.... if I am not connecting as much with my close friends and family here on the blog as it seemed I used to, is it a bad thing? Or a good, healthy push to reconnect OUTSIDE the internet universe?

Bloggin' is WEIRD.

We are all up in each other's grills, peering at the minutia... voyeurs to the intimate details of a person's home, a person's family, a person's THOUGHTS, a person's vents... a person's every little detail.

And we, exhibitionistically, continue to put the same things up on our own blogs. Come, everyone-- PLEASE examine my life and then tell me I am fit to be read... worthy to be loved... Tell me you admire me.

VALIDATE MY EXISTENCE.

Oh, MAN have I become a validation-whore.... truly.

If a girl makes cupcakes and DOESN'T blog about it, do those cupcakes really matter? Did they even happen? (Stef, an homage to your donut question...)

If I were to gently drift into just plain stay-at-home-mom-ness, and never give in to the need to TELL you about it, would my life lose meaning?

And is there deep irony here, in even writing about it in the first place, right here on my BLOG?

Ah, life. Ah, self. Ah, blogging... What a strange little phenomenon in our modern universe.

I have more to ponder.

Your thoughts, o faceless reader?

My Bessie Kate

Have I talked about Kate recently?

She's my bessie from Utah, my inspiration, my laugh-partner, my mentor...

She has the honor of being featured on photographer Davina Fear's Women in Business series today, and I thought it was a perfect excuse to pop on and talk a bit about Kate.

Kate is the incredible photographer behind Kate Benson Photography. She was doing photography when I met her nine years ago (has it been NINE years, Katie??!) and she was generous enough with her talent and her tutoring to help me in my fledgling journey through the lens. We go back to the days of film-- of finding the perfect developers to get our photos printed the way we wanted them (black and white, but CREAMY. Remember?) We go back to the days of REAL cross-processing with REAL slide film. And Kate was my inspiration through it all. To this day, I see the things she is doing with her art and I just sit back and marvel at her exquisite eye and her gift for pure light and clean color. She is an artist, and I am deeply grateful to have her as a resource and an inspiration.

I love that girl. She took my maternity photos, my wedding photos... She let me take a few of her life here and there... and beyond the photography, she is one of my favorite people to call for random, funny, on-the-fly conversations between our mutually busy lives.

Oh, Katie.... I love thinking about ya and our friendship.

And I LOVE that photo above. Still makes me giggle.

And anyone who has a minute-- go read Kate's interview HERE and leave some comment love, then check out her portfolio and blog, then sit back and be amazed with me.

Someday, I hope to be as good as she is at her craft.

(P.S. Kate was clowning around in the intro photo. She is really quite NORMAL and cute. I promise. See here:)